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Topic: Constantly crying over the smallest things

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Alaire
    Alaire avatar
    1 posts
    29 October 2017

    Hey there, I have a problem where I cry over small things I know aren't normal to cry about. For example, today my parents told me they would make time to teach me how to drive. They said that at around 1PM we would go out and have a little drive around. I expected them to cancel on me and they did which resulted in me crying and over thinking about all the times they've disappointed me when it comes to spending quality time with me.

    It's not just that though, there are other even stupider reasons I cry and when I DO cry it's literally heart wrenching sobs that I try to conceal when I'm in my room so no one hears me. I also have absolutely no motivation to do anything, I wont do anything unless someone is there with me because otherwise I just wont feel like doing it. I get very upset each time someone makes a mean comment (especially when I'm close with the person that makes said comments) and again sneak off to my room to *suprise* cry about it.

    I never talk about this to anyone because I know they won't take it seriously. I don't know what's wrong with me and I feel so confused and lost. This has been happening for at least 2 years but I haven't thought much about it until recently because it has become a daily thing now. I just want to feel like myself again.

    Thank you so much for any help, I appreciate it a lot.

  2. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6313 posts
    29 October 2017 in reply to Alaire

    Dear Alaire

    Hello and welcome. This is a good place to ask questions about those things that trouble you. You sound very down and I wonder if you are depressed. If you look on the BB home page and scroll down to to the circles, click on depression. Takes you to the K10 depression checklist which can give you some information about your feelings. It's not a diagnostic tool but is a good indicator about depression.

    If you get a reasonably high score it is a good time to see your GP taking the checklist with you. I don't know how old you are so you may need one of your parents with you (to pay the bill). Alternatively you can phone The Kids Helpline which caters for young people up to the age of 25. www.kidshelpline.com.au Ph:1800 55 1800 available 24/7. Also have a look at Headspace www.headspace. org.au

    It's also useful to read the information on Beyond Blue about depression. Look at the drop down list under The Facts at the top of the page.

    Crying frequently can be an indicator of stress of some kind, including depression. Lack of motivation and hiding your feelings of sadness also come into this area. Do you think you can talk to your parents about this? I take it they have not noticed you are feeling down. If I may suggest, look through the BB information. Much of it can be downloaded. Send for the booklets that interest. No cost.

    You may be interested in the publication for family and friends. Good idea to get this booklet before you talk to mom and dad as you will be able to give them information from a reliable source. B is very well respected.

    I have basically only given you options to discover if you are depressed or not. While it's true that some people do not believe depression exists or that you are depressed, it is becoming more recognised in the community. Your parents may surprise you. Try talking to one of the helplines above, I think it will be an eye-opener.

    Please keep writing in. Perhaps you would like to tell me more about yourself, school, hobbies etc. I look forward to your reply.

    Mary

  3. cherrytomato
    cherrytomato avatar
    2 posts
    3 September 2020 in reply to Alaire

    hello Alaire,

    your situation feels very similar to mine, but mine only started recently. i constantly feel drained, and I can barely make it to the last period of the day before breaking down. me smiling is about all I can do, and people around me have been noticing I've been acting weird recently. but it's just me not having any more energy, so my smile seems really fake and my comments sarcastic. i got a detention yesterday for leaving one early because apparently I wasn't suppose to go, even though half the other people had already left. i constantly feel high strung and focused, but then go into a autopilot-like mode where I just do things automatically, my eyes get a bit blurry and my head feel like it's in the clouds and I feel like a puppet. i cry over the tiniest things, eve if my friend and I are just joking around about something. like today, I was talking about how the detention thing was annoying me, and my friends were like:

    "what's she talking about"

    "I dunno, just nod along"

    "okay... WOOOOWW"

    "THATS SO INTERESTING"

    of course, they were only kidding, and I do this sometimes too, but it just really upset me and I really felt like crying. but I just kinda rolled my eyes and smiled, but I really wanted to cry.

    i just got over a long time crush, 2 years, we're really close friends. although I'm not sure I'm completely over him, I guess I'm kinda in the healing process. it might have been the reason I've been worse lately, but I really don't know what caused me to become like this. i really want to be social, and whenever I get a chance, I do. but its getting harder and harder to do the same tasks I've been doing for the last few years.

    even simple things like going downstairs to practice the piano is enough to cause me to break down and have an intense headache. teacher told me off? no problem, let me just excuse myself for a second and go cry in the last stall of the bathroom and hope no one hears me break down.

    i really want time to just stop so can sleep well for a night and not get interrupted by everyone. every night, I dream, sometimes I remember then, sometimes I don't, but usually, I would dream. and most of the time, its either really scary or really numbing, like sadness, but more numb than sad.

    i constantly look for things to distract myself from doing anything dumb or selfish, but i just cant find any.

    I'm really scared for myself, cus i fell like I'm falling down a rabbit hole, but therapists scare me and i don't want to go.

  4. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3423 posts
    3 September 2020 in reply to cherrytomato

    Hey cherrytomato,

    Thanks for reaching out to this community. We understand it can be tough to post for the first time, so we are really grateful you decided to join us and share what you're going through. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling so low and feel drained. It sounds like you're looking for some hope and we hope that you find some comfort by being part of this community. 

    We understand it can be really tough to cope sometimes, especially if you struggle to reach out to family or friends for support. We'd really recommend reaching out to the friendly counsellors at Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are available 24/7 by phone (1800 55 1800) or also through webchat if you'd feel more comfortable talking online: https://kidshelpline.com.au You're also always welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

    You might also like to start a new thread of your own so that our community can offer you as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We're all here to help you through this.

  5. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    1405 posts
    4 September 2020 in reply to Alaire

    Hi Alaire

    I wish I could give you the biggest hug as you go through this stage of self analysis. Such a stage can definitely be challenging, as we begin to ask a lot of questions that we'd never thought to seriously ask before.

    I believe, we can tolerate ongoing disappointment until we can no longer tolerate it. When we reach the point of intolerance, 1 of 2 things can happen - we'll vent through either tears or anger. We can tolerate degradation until we can no longer tolerate it. Again, 1 of 2 things can happen - we'll vent through either tears or anger. Along the way, through tolerating disappointment and degradation, we can feel compelled to voice our feelings and thoughts, yet we may keep them bottled up instead. We don't give our feelings a voice in this case.

    Imagine saying to your parents 'The disappointment has become intolerable. I appoint you to be the people who guide and support me yet you often disappoint yourself from this role. You need to get your act together and be that guidance and support system I really need in my life'. Imagine saying to the people who degrade you 'How do you find thoughtless degradation to be so easy? Was such a thing taught to you and you've come to master it? Imagine mastering the skills that come with thoughtfulness and sensitivity. How nice would that be?!'

    Alaire, what we can't tolerate can often tell us who we naturally are. If we can't tolerate injustice, it's because we're a just person. If we can't tolerate cruelty, it's because we're a kind person. If we can't tolerate a lack of support, it's typically because we're a naturally intelligent person who understands the benefits of support.

    Try not to doubt your natural intelligence, that part of you that says 'Support and guidance are fundamental to my growth as a person. Degradation is destructive and serves no positive purpose'. If you are crying now, more than ever, consider the idea that you are being challenged to no longer tolerate the intolerable behaviour of others. In other words, it's not you, it's them. Believe me when I say, you don't want to become desensitised to your emotions. I have come to rely on my own sensitivity as a compass that tells me whether I'm heading in the right direction or the wrong one. All emotional responses give us a sense of direction.

    :)

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