Thanks for taking the time to read this and give some insight.
You’re right, the fact that we were together for 6 months is nothing in the scheme of things. One of the past relationships I had lasted for nearly 5 years so I understand the complications that come with removing someone from your life, the shorter you’ve been involved - the easier it is to leave.
I agree with the drug and alcohol binging I think it’s really terrible for those of us struggling with mental health issues. It doesn’t help, just makes it worse.
I don’t know anything about bipolar so to see the man I loved who was at one point seemingly very devoted to me, to try and cheat was totally unfathomable.
I thought it would be linked to the bipolar because I couldn’t make any real logic out of it.
you can sometimes anticipate cheating - a growing distance between a couple, lack of intimacy, frequent bickering and full blown arguments- but we weren’t like that. life together was for the most part relaxing, easy, and enjoyable.
i think it’s important you acknowledged that bipolar isn’t an excuse for cheating - which it’s not.
you’re also not the only person who said he’ll come back to me.
Many people including friends of mine who have dated those who have bipolar have said this too. But one thing that a friend said that stood out to me is is that “he probably won’t remember what he did, the cheating and everything, because when they do horrible things and hurt others, it’s like they have two people living inside themselves, and this other side takes over, and they have no control” is this true?
so my question is now:
I love this man so so so much, but I am not willing to sacrifice my self worth to be with him. If he comes back to me:
- is this just some temporary emotion of his, reaching out, and in 6 months he’ll deliberately hurt me, sabotage us and leave again
- can he be trusted to change for the better
- does counselling really do all that much, and if so, what specific kind of counselling should I look at for him, and for us as a couple
- do those with bipolar really “blackout”, or is it just an excuse and they do remember what they did - they just want a ‘get out of jail free card’
- is it possible to have a healthy, loving, committed and stable relationship with someone who has bipolar
- what kind of expectations should I have, & what compromises may I have to look at making around living with his ups and downs as part of a relationship
Appreciate your insight