I hear you, it really sounds like you have been through a lot - especially on top of everything that has been going on with COVID.
It sounds like before the pandemic you had many hobbies that were keeping you happy (and would keep you pre-occupied now if there wasn't COVID-19). I am really sorry to hear what happened with you and your girlfriend. I know that it is definitely not easy to try to heal from that especially from how much you loved her.
Do you have a support system where you are now? Any friends you feel comfortable confiding in?
I know that things can feel like you have the world on your shoulders. You are definitely not alone here, please keep reaching out when you feel comfortable. I feel as though social connection even if it is online here on the forums is so important during these times.
We are definitely here for you Ryan2021