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Topic: Hi. I’m not very good at this so..

11 posts, 0 answered
  1. Krix
    Krix avatar
    5 posts
    1 September 2020

    Hi.

    Feeling less than stellar - so joined for advice. I have had a serious bout of depression/anxiety since March 2020, and I’m holding out && going downhill.

    saw my dr for the first time in 12 years and he want me in hospital for 2 weeks to change medication and observe. My work has suffered due to poor performance that I am at risk of losing my job. I have a meeting in 1 hour. Do I disclose I am sick and will be away for this long? I have major deadlines - thought I could hold out and fake it but the cycle of fear/guilt/anxiety/depression means I’m honestly not going to survive. Dr suggested admission on Sunday

    Potted history: previous & family depression, male, married, one teen son.

  2. uncut_gems
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    uncut_gems avatar
    319 posts
    1 September 2020 in reply to Krix

    Hi Krix,

    First of all, a warm welcome to the forums. So glad you found us and thought to post. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression, but glad that you sought the help of a doctor. Do you mind my asking if the Dr. you saw for the first time in 12 years was a GP or a counsellor? Either way, absolutely the right move.

    I should say that I am not at all familiar with the labor laws in this country, but there is this helpful guide (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/media/news/news/2020/02/26/Your-rights-at-work-when-dealing-with-mental-health-problems) about mental health and employment. From what I can tell, dismissing you under these circumstances would be a very severe escalation on their part, especially if you are upfront about the legitimate medical problems you are having.

    "Fake it 'till you make it" can be an effective strategy, but not when we don't have anything left in the tank. If you are reasonably confident that your employer is not personally vindictive and your job is salaried and more "highly skilled," I would think that honesty is the best policy here. Perhaps there is an ombudsperson or HR employee you can disclose this too without having to reveal too much information.

    Whatever you decide, we're always here for you on the forums.

    Warmly,

    Gems

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Krix
    Krix avatar
    5 posts
    1 September 2020 in reply to Krix
    I’ve met with my boss and it went far far far better than I imagined it would go. Honesty was the only option and I realise now I just don’t have anything left in the tank to pretend. So deep breath - it’s time to challenge the unhelpful thoughts and move on to the next day. So exhausting. Such a time and energy sucking waste of existence this is.
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Krix
    Krix avatar
    5 posts
    1 September 2020 in reply to uncut_gems
    Thank you Gems. The Doctor I saw is a Medical health specialist.
  5. Mish06
    Mish06 avatar
    3 posts
    2 September 2020 in reply to Krix
    Hi Krix
    Im sorry you are having a hard time at the.moment with work and life. Its good you have been to a specialist. Did they change your medication?
    I know you are feeling at the very bottom right now,lm here to talk to if you like....
    You mentioned this has been going on since march? Start of covid? I see you have previous depression which is tough. I have been through that to.
    I hope your day is a bit better today after seeing doctor
    Warm wishes


    1 person found this helpful
  6. Krix
    Krix avatar
    5 posts
    6 September 2020 in reply to Mish06
    Hi all. By way of follow up I have sought out further help, and will be looking at engaging more regularly with my Dr. I don’t know how to offer my thanks to this community for taking the time to reply to a lost one, but I give profuse thanks all the same. There is a glimmer of hope and I intend to chase it. Be kind to yourselves and others.
  7. uncut_gems
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    uncut_gems avatar
    319 posts
    7 September 2020 in reply to Krix

    Hi Krix,

    Great to hear from you and thanks for following up. So glad you're back in the loop with your doctor. Let us know how you go if you feel like it, and if we're always here if you need to talk.

    Warmly,

    Gems

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Depressed mumma
    Depressed mumma  avatar
    4 posts
    7 September 2020 in reply to uncut_gems
    I recently spent two weeks in hospital for my depression and it honestly saved my life. It gave me the space to concentrate on me and my health without all the noise of life. My manager was incredibly supportive and I found telling people quite easy once I’d gotten the ball rolling. I hope you get the help you need. I’m on the other side and while I have my lows still I’m finding each day a little brighter.
    2 people found this helpful
  9. Krix
    Krix avatar
    5 posts
    6 October 2020 in reply to Depressed mumma

    Hey.

    im now two weeks out from an acute hospital stay - and I’ve learnt a new saying. ‘The pill, the will, the skill’.

    new medication - much better and is actually working. So I can tick off the first of the trinity. The will has always been there, and now have improved the first and can focus on what helps with will. Sleep, exercise, diet all shore up the reserves to get better. Or fill up my tank so I have something to give back to myself. The skill - is positive psychology, learning about ACT, and working everyday to challenge unhelpful cognitive processes.

    a big challenge is applying compassion - not just to keep giving to others - but to apply to self.

    compared to when I first posted - lots of things have changed but the horizon looks much better - whatever it may be.

    so, for those who read - or replied, thank you. I’m no where near fixed, but not submerged as before. Reach out if you want to chat.

  10. Not_Batman
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Not_Batman avatar
    127 posts
    6 October 2020 in reply to Krix

    Hi Krix. Sounds quite positive.
    i can certainly understand the drowning feeling.

    my psychologist once told me that when it comes to recovery the medication is 10% and you are the 90%.

    So you are correct when you say the pill, the will, the skill. Though The will and the skill are not to be underestimated. These are very powerful things to have in your tool kit.

    though one may not have the will or the skill, these can be learned and strengthen over time with the right help. Its kind of like learning to do something. You may need some help at the start but you learn Things along the way that make it easier.

  11. uncut_gems
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    uncut_gems avatar
    319 posts
    6 October 2020 in reply to Krix

    Hi Krix,

    So good to hear from you. I'm so pleased that you had the courage to prioritize your mental health and get the more acute care you needed at the time. It truly sounds like you are doing so much better. You just seem so much happier and lighter.

    The will, the pill, the skill– I love that, the mental health trifecta! Not_Batman is absolutely right, the will and the skill are not to be underestimated. I'm so grateful that you came back to the thread to share an update. We're always here for you!

    Warmly,

    Gems

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