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Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

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Topic: Highly Sensitive People (HSP)

  1. therising
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    2828 posts
    6 January 2022 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony

    I celebrate you as an absolute legend :) You really are an inspiration. I wish there were more people like you in the world. As I say to folk who insist the world is a horrible place, 'You're not looking for the right people, who prove how amazing it can be'. You're a fine example of why the world is a good place to live in.

    Corruption is so triggering. It's a form of self entitlement that can literally make you sick. This touches on one of the challenges of a highly sensitive person. You hear people casually say 'Oh, this makes me sick' or 'I'm absolute sick of this', but for someone who's sensitive to a person who is sickening or a situation that is sickening, you literally can get sick. The way this impacts your nervous system, your heart, your blood pressure and more can get pretty intense and serious, especially if what's making us sick has been doing so long term. Sometimes when I catch myself saying 'I'm sick of that person's behaviour', what then comes to mind is somewhat of an expansion on that - 'I'm sick because of that person's behaviour'. It's amazing how throwing a simple word (because) into the mix can offer clarity on how you're feeling. On occasion I've gone onto think 'Do they actually lead me to feel sick?', with the answer being 'Hell yes!'. What puzzles me at times is the fact that some people really couldn't care less that they're leading you to feel unwell. They'd prefer to label you as 'sensitive' and tell you to 'calm down' rather than wonder about how they're actually impacting you.

    Strong possibility that a person who's telling us we're too righteous and too sensitive is perhaps looking at things from the wrong perspective with an unhealthy degree of insensitivity. And while grey is definitely a large area when it comes to personal opinion, there are obviously some very dark shades of grey people just love to justify.

    A true hero can face losing so much - their job, their reputation (as easygoing or as a 'team player'), their standing amongst co-workers but being prepared to lose it all, while painful and stressful, is exactly what makes them outstanding :)

  2. Frangepani
    Frangepani avatar
    31 posts
    11 January 2022 in reply to therising
    Hi therising its been a while since I replied but I wanted to thank you for the very positive uplifting inspiring feedback u said. How you doing hope you are going well. I just wanted to say ill never stop graduating lol. Im doing ok I've just got to be mindful of my triggers and I have things in place and I know what to do when and if that happens. Slowly but surely more and more im finding peace within myself and im a lot stronger than I ever use to be I have come along way but I know I have a longer way to go my goal is to be living the life of my dreams and I know now that I deserve it. All the best to you take care and stay safe. Keep dreaming keep believing.
  3. white knight
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    11 January 2022 in reply to therising

    Hi therising,

    Thankyou for your kind words.

    Re: "Strong possibility that a person who's telling us we're too righteous and too sensitive is perhaps looking at things from the wrong perspective with an unhealthy degree of insensitivity." It just dawned on me the ultimate reply to claims of being "too sensitive" is- "perhaps you are too insensitive- can you do something about that".

    I always like to end with a question so it paints them into the corner they had me in prior to my reply. Another answer to "you being too sensitive" is "you are far too short, do you mind lowering your height"?

    "The way this impacts your nervous system, your heart, your blood pressure and more can get pretty intense and serious..." Hence the positives in withdrawing from the wrong people in our lives or even the masses in general. To survive in a society I've we've ended up in a regional town of 3000 people. That size is ideal up to 5000. The size is important as it has everything except Bunnings and larger retails like Kmart but small enough to limit the numbers of people walking the footpaths. Less contacts the better quality the contact and the less likely the contact is toxic. Bit likebeing scared of sharks...I dont enter the ocean more than knee height.

    "What puzzles me at times is the fact that some people really couldn't care less that they're leading you to feel unwell. " Thats a worldwide problem - care, lack thereof. At least 50% of people care les that I would want them

    I think a hero does what they need to do so their values aren't compromised. We should never feel embarrassment over making a stand. But this is where society is flawed. I remember the TV show with Jeffery Robertson "Hypotheticals" where he would get panellists to commit to a certain judgement then place them in another position whereby their judgement was flawed. Society needs more hypotheticals so we can reach more accurate moral standings.

    TonyWK

    TonyWK

  4. Guest_1643
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    11 January 2022
    I'm like that too....
    1 person found this helpful
  5. white knight
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    11 January 2022 in reply to Frangepani

    Hi Frangepani,

    It's so refreshing to read your post of gratitude to therising, one of our most inspirational members that makes us think a lot!

    As for triggers you might want to read this thread-

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/triggers-that-down-you-triggers-that-lift-you

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-peDvmjkF6s

    TonyWK

  6. therising
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    12 January 2022 in reply to Frangepani

    Hi Frangepani

    It's so exciting that you can feel your progress. Moments where we can really feel it are so satisfying.

    Triggers, my goodness there can be a lot. When you can feel so much, you have to work harder than a non sensitive person. From certain sounds, including the words people say, right through to whatever enters into our imagination, there can be so many triggers. I've found, knowing what each feeling is really telling me can help turn the volume down a little and even allow me to better manage people or circumstances in some cases. An example that comes to mind...

    You can be in a conversation with someone when you decide to give your input. Their response might sound a little like 'That's ridiculous. You're an idiot'. Bamm, did you feel that? Right through the heart, especially if it comes from someone you respect. Heart ache or heart break can be somewhat depressing at times when we may already be quite down. Suddenly, what may come to mind is 'I know that feeling. That's the feeling of 'heartache', 'heart break' or 'depressing'. Imagine detaching from the feeling so as to 100% focus on announcing it out loud, 'Dude, your attitude's depressing. I can feel it'. While they may say 'Stop being so sensitive', your response could easily be 'If you stopped being so arrogant and depressing, I wouldn't have to feel it'. Do you like that? :) it's amazing how many people don't wish to take responsibility for their words. Instead, they hand responsibility over to the person who feels those words.

    For me, the most exciting feeling in relation to progress is when you feel you are becoming more and more your true self, who you were meant to be. When you can feel/sense who's depressing or stressful and who's not, for example, you just know you were born to be sensitive. You were born to feel, something that can take a lifetime to master.

    Enjoy the journey in between each challenge :)

  7. therising
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    12 January 2022 in reply to white knight

    Hi TonyWK

    I like the idea of getting a feel for the best place to live, a place that really serves us well in so many ways. This makes me think of a little holiday spot in the countryside just outside of Lakes Entrance in Victoria. Before COVID hit, myself, my mum and my kids used to stay there for a week every Easter holidays, in a unit which led down to the lake. It really felt like we were 'going home' every time we went there. Then we'd come back to Melbourne, to somewhat endure the remaining 51 weeks of the year.

    The following may sound a little insane but the thought of it leads me to be amused. Imagine speaking on behalf of your body, each and every part that allows you to feel. You could freely say things to people such as

    • My nervous system is telling me it doesn't like you because you're too stressful
    • My throat is feeling quite choked up. Give me a moment to clear it so it is free to announce what I'm about to tell you
    • My shoulders and neck are telling me to delegate stressful challenges, because they can't handle any more tension
    • My vascular system is telling me you're making my head ache
    • My lungs, with their change in breathing pattern, are telling me you're suffocating me
    • My gut is telling me not to trust you
    • That sudden pain in my chest, as a result of what you've just said, leads me to listen to my heart which tells me 'You can be heartbreaking at times'

    I suppose this is what they mean by the body having its own intelligence. It can tell you what's really going on at any given time. I smile when I think about how my body reacts to a particular person's name. The second someone mentions their name, my hand comes straight up to my forehead, rubbing it. It's like an automatic response. My mum actually pointed this out to me. I had no idea I was doing it. This particular person causes me a lot of stress. What leads to some amusement, in a way...Are my hands trying to rub any thought of them out of my head? Are they trying to soothe me in some way? Are they trying to prevent a headache, through some form of subconscious massage? Who knows. What I do know is my hands serve me well at times. You could even say they're handy :) I know, that was a bad one.

    It's true, what you say. You can't simply change how you are, especially if you were born that way. If we're born to be sensitive, we can't simply change how our body feels the experience known as life. All we can do is master the ability to feel so incredibly well.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Frangepani
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    31 posts
    15 January 2022 in reply to therising
    Hi therising hope you are well I just wanted to say I am totally done with selfish self centred people who have no compassion or empathy for anyone and they only care bout themselves I have been put down mistreated and I've been literally at rock bottom many times where I just wanted the pain to end and I thought I could only stop the pain if I was dead and I thought it would be better for everyone else as well as myself I am so extremely angry as I have allowed people to take advantage of me because at the time I wasn't strong enough to stop and my thought process was that I thought I didn't deserve any better. I will not stand for anymore mistreatment by anyone I dont care who they are this world is in a absolutely mess and personal I can't cope with it anymore im ok im so angry its raging inside of me I need to release it I refuse to become sick because of stress and no one is going to destroy my chance at happiness I won't let that happen I won't the most amazing life and I know I deserve that now I will never stop dreaming and striving for what I want out of life I thank God for literally saving my life takecare all the best to you
    1 person found this helpful
  9. therising
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Frangepani

    Hi Frangepani

    It sounds like you've met with an incredibly powerful part of yourself. I recall having once seen the most amazing image that reminds me of this and of what you're expressing. It's an image of a female warrior on the edge of a cliff, powerfully screaming out into this massive expanse. It represents her arrival at this point. In my mind, I imagine she's traveled far and worked hard to get there. The scream is both her victory cry as well as her declaration that what now lies before her no one can take from her. That cliff's edge is the verge, between the old and the new, a liberating place to be.

    Rage is a powerful thing. Constructive rage creates drive and change. It's like fuel for an engine furnace. Personally, I've felt such rage before and it's positively life changing. Developing ways to 'let off steam' is so important too, otherwise rage can do damage. Kind of like it goes from 'drive' to 'dis-ease', with the nervous system under pressure constantly.

    I found one of the most challenging things about rage comes down to making my rage my own. What I mean by this is no one can add to it and no one can take away from it. I'm in charge of it 100%. Not easy to achieve at times, that's for sure. I'll offer an example. Just say someone says, while smiling (grrr), 'You need to calm down, you're completely out of control'. The comment and the smile especially can trigger more rage. To begin with, you're happy with your rage, as it's the one thing driving you to stand up for yourself, to be upstanding. 1) They're trying to manage your rage, by telling you to calm it down, something you don't want to do for good reason, and 2) they may actually be adding fuel to the fire, leading such rage to become a little out of control. Often, out of control rage leads to regret. Most of us don't want to regret becoming the person we don't want to be, such as someone who physically hits a person or burns a bridge that was going to take us to exactly where we needed to go.

    I smile when I think of the kind of Marvel or DC comic character who transforms into a super hero through the power of rage. When they discover this ability, they have to learn to master it and have it serve them and those around them, otherwise it just doesn't work the way it's meant to.

    With rage, I employ the sage. It's like the bi*ch and the sage in me working together. It's the sage who keeps a leash on the bi*ch. The sage that remains in charge of the bridge burning :)

    You're powerful :)

  10. white knight
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    9781 posts
    16 January 2022 in reply to Frangepani

    Hi Frangepani, great to read your post. And feel free to continue on with discussion on your topic of rage and discomfort for life as you see it.

    Thanks therising, your endorsement for rage is amazing.

    Frangepani, There is several facets to your post that can be attended to separately. Therisings rage endorcement is one and it's incredible how we try to explain an (unacceptable to some) emotion then along comes a wise person with experience and knowledge to put our guilt into a totally different basket, in this case therising transferred it from the guilt basket to the "justified" basket.

    So I have picked out another- the problem of filtering people so we limit the number of those that infiltrate our lives only to turn out somewhere between incompatible to totally toxic. To be able to scan these people at the initial meet up and subsequent early relationship period.

    I call it, in my case, "lack of street wisdom". Sometime during my teenage years I missed out on that and the result was to trust all and sundry first before I found out otherwise. Not very clever, it should be the other way around. Post teens, worked in the Air Force, the prison service and various investigative roles but still, I could change my spots on my leopard coat to weed out the bad apples both personally and in my professions! After many episodes of hurt something needed to be done.

    If I havent recommended it to you the series of threads here on the forum I wrote called "fortress of survival" places it all in perspective.

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/fortress-of-survival

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/fortress-of-survival-part-2

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/fortress-of-survival-part-3

    There is also one on friendships

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/the-labyrinth-of-friendships

    You only need to read the first post of each. I suppose education through reading is essential for all of us here. I cant stay focussed for long but I try to read a passage every day.

    I'll be interested in your thoughts.

    As for the state of the world, it is in the bracket of "if you cant change it, then worry is non productive.

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/worry-worry-worry

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/worry-worry-worry-part-2

    TonyWK

  11. Frangepani
    Frangepani avatar
    31 posts
    16 January 2022 in reply to therising
    Hi there thankyou for what you wrote to me its so very comforting to converse with someone in this way who totally gets it I've never had that in my life until now in my personal life my life has literally turned around for the better I can actually see a future for myself it hasn't been that way for a very long time I think you are so uplifting and inspiring and very powerful yourself I tend to have this ability where I get the giggles and I love to laugh and make people laugh because I've had my fair share of the alternative they say laughter is the best medicine right I dont know if I've mention this before cant remember my posts. Talking with you really helps I hope im returning the favour takecare of yourself all the best
    1 person found this helpful
  12. Guest_1643
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Frangepani

    Hi frangepani, that's great u feel so much more hopeful and that u have a future. No pressure to answer but I was wandering what changed Ur life around as I also struggle with seeing a future for myself.

  13. CMF
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    16 January 2022 in reply to Frangepani

    Hi Frangepani and all reading.

    I have felt rage this week. I too cannot tolerate people who feel they are above others, who don't want to help others , who are fake. People who purposely stir up others when they are down.

    I don't like feeling rage, it stops me from being the caring person I know I am.

    Cmf x

  14. robthomaslover
    robthomaslover avatar
    335 posts
    16 January 2022

    i'm a highly sensitive person. avoidant personality disorder (or APD/AVPD) is one of my 6 diagnoseses (yay me). this makes me very sensitive to criticism, rejection, abandonment, being ignored online & in person, struggling to have & mantain friendships, etc etc.

    i can just get depressed over the smallest thing & feel suicidal. i feel like everyone who i've talked to online & in person knows this & they play on it. it's hard to deal with. like for instance, me feeling like nobody likes talking to me, including on these forums.

  15. Frangepani
    Frangepani avatar
    31 posts
    16 January 2022 in reply to Guest_1643
    Hi Sleepy i hope you are well and doing ok in response to your question my answer is do you believe in miracles because thats what happened for me my belief in my faith has literally turned my life around where I have gone from rock bottom where I wanted to die many times over to seeing the light at the end of a very dark tunnel for so long I can see rainbows now through it all I never gave up hope and I never will I feel so blessed in my life its truly amazing I hope you can get some comfort from this I wish you well take care of yrself im happy to talk anytime reachout again
  16. white knight
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    16 January 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Hi robthomaslover

    I'm sorry you have HSP, as I do. I conquered anxiety but bipolar and HSP I'm afraid isn't fixable.

    The forum members need lots of patience and the biggest need is , the benefit of the doubt. This is because there is an infinite amount of reasons someone might not answer you here. Eg if they have depression sleep is random, they might need a break from the forum, that thread might be frustrating for them or they might not know how best to use the forum and miss your post. A common occurance is that you post then another person posts and the OP only sees the most recent post. It looks like they've ignored you but just missed you.

    Many things like this will be fixed in a new forum coming soon.

    TonyWK

    3 people found this helpful
  17. therising
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    16 January 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    Hi robthomaslover

    I think when we're sensitive to anything questionable, we can't help but question or wonder why people behave the way they do. There are some seriously questionable people out there. A simple example which can involve a huge trigger: Someone may say to us 'You're way too sensitive', to which our response may be 'I hate it when people say that'. Now, you'd imagine after you express your hate for that statement, the person would not press the point but don't you ever find it questionable that a person's response to this can be 'Well you are (way too sensitive)'. It's like dude I just told you I hate that and not only have you completely ignored me but you've emphasised it.

    I'm a pretty sensitive person at times and I suppose I've always been somewhat sensitive to what I find questionable. I used to walk away questioning certain people's behaviour, especially those who were depressing or angering in some way. I'd walk away gradually becoming upset with myself. Can't recall exactly how it happened but one day I was led to begin wondering out loud. Instead of keeping my wonder to myself, I began wondering at the people who were leading me to feel depressed, lacking in self worth, hopeless and so on. I really wondered and genuinely wanted answers. What I discovered were 2 rather outstanding things. 1) A lot of people, not all, didn't want to take responsibility for their words. They gave responsibility back to me, to tolerate those words. 2) People would typically like to tell me I needed to 'calm down' or not be so 'challenging' or such a 'confrontational bi*ch', on occasion. My revelation: I'd much rather be an informed questioner or 'confrontational bi*ch' than depressed.

    One of the things I love most about sensitive people is that the second you trigger a sense of consciousness, they come to the party. Rarely is there any hesitation. If you say to a sensitive person 'What you said actually wounded me', the kind of response you typically get is 'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. That wasn't my intention'. A sensitive person takes ownership of their words (I'm, I, my). A highly insensitive person puts it all back on you.

    I've discovered sensitivity gives you the natural ability to pick all the insensitive people around you, every single one of them. You can even pick the levels of insensitivity. Ask a group of sensitives to tell you who the most insensitive person in the room is and they'll all point to the same person :)

    1 person found this helpful
  18. therising
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    17 January 2022 in reply to Frangepani

    Hi Frangepani

    You're such an inspiring and powerful person, creating beautiful 2 way channels with people. I have to agree with you when it comes to that channel or connection we experience with laughter. I love it. I love feeling it. I love sharing it. There are times where I think 'I really can't be bothered going to work' when what comes to mind is 'Go, simply to see how many people you can lead to a smile or laughter'. I love being a form of amusement, as working in aged care these days of COVID can be so triggering and potentially depressing. I regard myself as lucky to be working with those who have a great sense of humor. To be lighthearted is definitely good natural medicine for the heart. Finding people who can give you a daily dose is a must :)

  19. Frangepani
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    31 posts
    17 January 2022 in reply to CMF
    Hi Cmf hope you are well and are doing ok I just wanted to say dont you go changing who you really truly are just to fit in with people who are not worth your time and energy focus on the people that truly geniuely care about you and will be there for you during the good times and the bad in response to rage dont let people have the power of you and especially dont bring yourself down to their level you are better than that we need to release the rage its better for our health mentally and physically if we do that you know my thoughts going to gym and doing boxing classes what comes to mind but you find what works for you I've found what has really helped me is doing my own research online and listening to motivational speaking podcasts on what resonates with you I truly hope this helps you you can actually google anything you want to takcare of yourself hold that head up high because you are a caring person just like you said and the world needs more people like us in it dont let anyone tell you any different reachout again im happy to chat all the best to you
    1 person found this helpful
  20. therising
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    17 January 2022 in reply to CMF

    Hi CMF

    I believe we can be caring and a justified rager at the same time. Was having a discussion with someone just yesterday about 'tone of voice'. A caring and sensitive person can begin a discussion with someone in a thoughtful way with a careful tone. For example, just say you witness a 'friend' speaking to their young child in a chastising, highly abusive manner. Carefully, you may say in support of the child, while trying to defuse the situation, 'I imagine he/she didn't mean to break that glass'. The friend ignores you, continuing with their anxiety triggering depressing rant. You raise your tone when going on to say 'I think it's best if we help him/her take responsibility in sweeping up the glass together'. Still that friend continues with the rant until their child is a thoroughly embarrassed blubbering mess. So, you may take your friend aside out of earshot of the child, raise you tone (not your volume) and try and snap them out of it by saying 'Are you a complete effing idiot? Can you not see what you're doing to your own child?! Stop it, get your sh*t together and help them manage what's happened!'. You deeply care about that child while being somewhat of a rager. I think, sometimes people will only wake up to themself through someone else's rage. I should add, the rage that happens in domestic abuse situations is very different. This is not about waking a partner or a child up, it's about managing them through fear. An abuser manages through instilling fear in others.

    Having mentioned channeling the sage, sometimes the sage in us may say 'This is getting out of control, you need to scream at that person what has become completely intolerable and depressing otherwise they will never hear you'. I think as caring people, we can have just a handful of these moments throughout the whole of our life and still remain caring and sensitive.

    1 person found this helpful
  21. robthomaslover
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    17 January 2022 in reply to white knight

    hey tony & therising.

    i'm not really sure how to reply but i did read your comments. it's difficult having AVPD (avoidant personality disorder). no one really seems to understand it since it's so rare. my psychiatrist seems to be the only one i personally know that knows about it. i also get clingy at times, not as bad as i used to be, so maybe that's a bit of a dependant personality, i don't know. but i also have moments when i just want to be left alone. it's difficult.

  22. Guest_1643
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    17 January 2022 in reply to therising

    I think sensitivity is a blessing too, the rising.

    I don't like the term empath, apologies to anyone who does, but I've seen it claimed by ppl to display their special sensitivity, when they were, in fact, pretty insensitive and narcissistic.

    i want to live in a world where it's OK to feel and be vulnerable, and like to peel away my own shame around feelings.

    2 people found this helpful
  23. white knight
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    17 January 2022 in reply to robthomaslover

    I can only imagine how hard it would be to have AVPD.

    I hope the forum and this thread helps a little.

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  24. robthomaslover
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    17 January 2022 in reply to white knight
    thanks tony. it's hard to explain really. i don't understand the "feeling inferior/superior to others" part of it though. perhaps others do but personally i've never been like that, nor ever intend to be.
    1 person found this helpful
  25. Guest_1643
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    17 January 2022 in reply to white knight

    As a cluster 3 personality disorder, AVPD has been misunderstood, I hope ppl who struggle with this disorder get help and also know that they are more than their personality disorder.

    There is a movement I feel where personality disorders are becoming better understood and talked about. Hopefully I the future there will be less stigma.

    2 people found this helpful
  26. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7658 posts
    17 January 2022

    Hi all

    I was going to write that I am pretty sure I experience high sensitivity. Then I looked at some of these posts, back a page too. Are they extra long some of them. I have no issue with that at all. Maybe it is my imagination. I don't know. What do you guys think?

  27. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    17 January 2022 in reply to Guest_1055
    Hi shelll, it is fairly dense and philosophical . It may be intimidating to a lot of ppl. We should welcome ppl and make it easy to joim
  28. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9781 posts
    17 January 2022 in reply to Guest_1055

    Hi Shelll

    What's extra long? I don't understand

    TonyWK

  29. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    17 January 2022 in reply to Guest_1643
    Hi Tony could be wrong but was wandering if the comments were about the texts in the posts, they are long posts with lots of text.
  30. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2828 posts
    18 January 2022 in reply to Guest_1643

    Hi Sleepy21

    You raise an interesting point about the empath factor, how it's misused. While it's a handy way of identifying a deeply feeling person, it has left me wondering what's wrong with my perception at times. I consider a guy I know who can be the most beautiful genuinely deeply feeling person one minute and the next minute he can cut you down in the blink of an eye. I really do need to thank you as you've actually woken me up to the possibility of why he can switch so quickly, into what appear to be such narcissistic traits. I've spent so many years trying to work him out (wondering whether he's narcissistic or not) and you've helped me reach a conclusion that makes some sense to me.

    I think, because this guy's such a deeply feeling person who can be easily overwhelmed by emotion, he's taught himself to switch off from 'feeling', in a split second. When he switches off in favour of pure logic over feeling, his logic feels cold and hard. I don't believe he's actually a narcissist, I think he's just too switched off at times and I'm not the only one to say this. Developing healthy levels of emotional detachment can definitely be a good thing, leading to greater self esteem, but knowing when the line's been crossed is something I'm personally trying to master myself. I'm also trying to master balance (semi detachment). Such awareness can be seriously hard to achieve at times. I've even said to my daughter before, in relation to someone we both know, 'Am I too detached and unfeeling at times?', to which her response has been 'Yeah, a little, but I can understand why'. To sum it up it's a 'hurt too much too often' kind of thing when it comes to the person I speak of. She's felt the hurt herself and can relate.

    I suppose there can be a variety of people

    • As you mention, those who declare themself to be 'a deep feeler of other's emotions/feelings', when they're actually manipulating people through emotions in order to serve themself (aka a pure narcissist)
    • Those who are deep feelers but are yet to fully master the ability to switch off, switch back and forward or find balance in productive or constructive open minded ways
    • Those who are deep feelers for others and can't switch off, which can be thoroughly exhausting, stressful and even depressing at times

    Sometimes I'm left to think that there is so much to feeling or feelings that I'm not sure if a lifetime is long enough to fully understand and master it all :)

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