"How are you coping with your thoughts today?" is a good questions to ask myself, especially at the moments when the thoughts come bubbling up & might soon wash all over me like oily sludge. Since I don't want that, I begin by reminding myself that the thought I have are often rehashing of old words spat out at me by people who have low opinions of me, & would seek to harm me, & see me feeling worse than I am already feeling.
These are someone's own opinions of me. I do not have to take on their opinions, as if I now own them.
No, I reject their assessments, because it came from a bitter heart, &I think, very hurt & damaged people.
The idea that these thoughts I have didn't originate within myself, but from the unfortunate circumstances of how I was raised in the family I had, has been growing within me, & I now find myself feeling more sadness & compassion for those people who impressed upon me the many ways I was inadequate, a failure, hopeless & helpless. Maybe they felt these things about themselves.
I can be angry about it now, but it feels futile. I don't think it helps me to lift myself or calm myself when I feel this deep & long-ignored anger. I will acknowledge it. I might even give my wardrobe a thump, but not hard. I dislike the noise I make, because it startles me too much. & may make my hand hurt, & for what?
As part of feeling better about myself, I need to show myself more care & consideration, so I do not want to be deliberately hurting myself, not even a little bruise.
Now, as we seem to be going into winter early, & I feel a dread about how I might feel, because of my past & thoughts, memories & feelings, & the possibility of sliding into depression, I am tempted to burrow in & feel safe all rugged up - but for me, I know that makes maintaining a normal 'routine' (heheh) impossible. & that gets me down all the more, so I do want to resist that.
I can be vigilant about this & get myself doing something, hopefully, something I have procrastinated over. It feel twice as nice to get one of those tasks done.
I know talking to somebody, even as we do here helps with being isolated, due to difficulties getting out. Talking to someone face-to-face would be better. If it's a good friend, you might find yourself laughing & able to talk seriously, & feel heard & understood. It's hard to get my PDr to laugh, but I have an itch to do that! When he does, I feel a better connection with him.😺