I really don't see the point anymore hey, nothing goes right for me ever which is how I'm a 29 year old bartender with crippling depression and no hopes of a better job.
I've done 2 degrees in boring business, am way too old to go back to uni and keep kidding myself that life gets better.
On top of the no hope for future career prospects, I'm 29 and haven't had a relationship for a decade - women just do not find my hideous face appealing, or even interesting.
And I get it, we all try to punch upwards in the dating game - but I'm dyyying for a human connection that I find mentally and physically attractive, and can feel that reciprocated.
This whole "he needs a car, a 6 figure job, looks like a Hemsworth, has a 6 pack of abs and has time to take me nice places" mentality is killing me.
Anyway, I've done some thinking - and have decided that the "feeling" that it will all work out is just part of the fabrication that we as a society tell ourselves.
Hope is the lie. There is no point to anything. Nothing gets better.
Help me see otherwise please, I am sliding towards the self harm section with every thought.
Ps. Therapy is expensive