Thank you for being open about your feelings, I know it's never easy. I hope you know that this is a safe space where you can be vulnerable without judgement. We are here to listen, validate you and support you. It's a great first step to be honest about what you're going through, especially if you've been hiding it.
You're not alone in feeling that your sadness isn't that bad, or that other people have it worse than you. While other people might be going through something more difficult than you, this does not erase or invalidate how you feel or your situation.
I want you to know that you are valid for feeling lonely, depressed, ashamed, insecure, and that these feelings are very real. It is always okay to share that and be honest about that here and with yourself.
It sounds like you have really negative beliefs about yourself, and how other people see you. It seems that you're holding a lot of guilt and responsibility. You've mentioned that you've had conflict with your friends and feel guilty about some things.. Are you comfortable with sharing what has happened?
I may not know you, but I want you to know that you're not worthless, you're not stupid and you're not ugly. You are worthy of unconditional love, happiness and supportive people in your life, even if you've hurt people close to you before. You may not believe this now, but I really hope that someday you will have that peace within yourself.
I'm really glad that you want to stop feeling the way you do. The desire to feel better and taking the step to share with people how you're feeling are very important steps to take. When you say work on yourself, what does this look like to you? Are you open to the idea of therapy? What are your views on visiting your GP to talk about how you've been feeling?
I'd love to hear from you.