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Topic: I lost my job, again

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. 41singleBNE
    41singleBNE avatar
    20 posts
    20 January 2022

    It all started in 2020. I’d had steady employment for the previous 4 years, but saw a much better opportunity with better pay. I applied and instantly got an interview. After waving an impressive sized carrot, I now had a new position.

    I loved every minute there, and never put a foot wrong (in my mind). But 6 months and 1 minute later, I had expected to pass the probationary period. Instead I was told I wasn’t a good fit for the company and promptly dismissed. The real reason was that they wanted someone half my age for half the money.

    This was September 2020 and it left me gutted. I felt like my soul had been ripped out and to this day I’m still very dark about the whole experience.

    I soon found another role only to quit that job after a few months. I then found another one, spent a few months there before moving on again. Unhappy, unfulfilled, and accepting roles purely as a paycheque but hating the actual work.

    All this time I’d been unable to take any meaningful length of time off due to not being on someone’s books long enough. It was beginning to wear me down, it felt that worklife was a state of perpetual exhaustion.

    Today I lost my 6th full time position since that fateful day in September 2020. I was dismissed due to poor workmanship.

    I need to work as I have no savings and have always lived pay cycle to pay cycle as many people do.

    But I just can’t continue drinking 4-5 cans of Red Bull per day just to function.

    I hate myself and have been having very dark thoughts. I have no formal qualifications and don’t consider myself very employable at all.

  2. Petal22
    Community Champion
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    Petal22 avatar
    2006 posts
    20 January 2022 in reply to 41singleBNE

    Hi 41singleBNE,

    Im sorry you are feeling this way and that this happened to you, I understand it would be difficult for you.

    Maybe there’s a better job out there for you?

    Have you thought about having a chat to your gp about the way you are feeling and your dark thoughts?

    You could do a mental health plan together, this will enable you to see a psychologist.

  3. 41singleBNE
    41singleBNE avatar
    20 posts
    22 January 2022
    Can’t afford a psychologist. They all give the same advice anyway. I’ve seen dozens of them.
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Red Heart
    Red Heart avatar
    10 posts
    24 January 2022 in reply to 41singleBNE

    I know that feeling very well. It’s been a very bumpy ride career wise for me in the last five years. I too know the pain of being let go because you don’t meet their “requirements” I was also forced to resign from a position and I quit a lucrative role on ethical grounds. I also turned down a high paying position in hopes another would come good...

    You aren’t alone. It’s a very shaky job market out there.

    Keep applying and you will know when a place is the right fit as it will feel like home.

    You will find your feet again.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. 41singleBNE
    41singleBNE avatar
    20 posts
    6 February 2022

    I honestly don’t even know where to look for another job.

    I was a car detailer by trade but don’t want to go back to the industry. It’s left me exhausted, mentally worn out, and disillusioned. I ruined a ceramic paint protection coating on a $150k European SUV due to bad weather conditions, lack of rest and poor concentration. I was subsequently fired because of it.

    The reason car detailing was a good fit (for a while anyway) is due to the fact you work autonomously and there’s very little communication actually required. I suffer from a voice condition called Muscle Tension Dysphonia which means your vocal chords are strangled. Think of Darren Lockyer on a really bad day - that’s how I sound.

    Roles involving a lot of speaking and voice projection I simply cannot do, as my voice is too weak and I can’t be understood.

    I’m on jobseeker payments but I’ve been spending my days mostly in bed trying to block out how bad I feel.

  6. 41singleBNE
    41singleBNE avatar
    20 posts
    8 February 2022

    I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm on a stiff cocktail of anti psychotic meds nightly before bed and they're the only thing holding me back if I'm perfectly honest.

    I've got very little money, no savings, heaps of bad debt, no car (gearbox failure and can't afford to fix it), no job, no career and no real outlook.

    My parents are fed up and are refusing to help me. Suck it up. Get an uber. Get public transport. You created this mess you deal with it.

    I don't want to deal with it anymore.

  7. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10942 posts
    11 February 2022 in reply to 41singleBNE

    Dear 41singleBNE~

    I've been reading though your posts -and the answers to them. It is true that at the moment your circumstances are not good and while there may be some things you can do to improve them there are some you can't.

    You did say " have no formal qualifications and don’t consider myself very employable at all. "

    Um, I am sure mentally writing yourself off as unemployable is a mistake, you certainly write well enough to be fit for many positions, and if you can't find them becuse they are not there in the first place that is one of the things you do not control.

    Medications can help a lot, they have certainly helped me, however they are only part of it. I have found that as well trying to have one thing to look forward to each day has made a surprising difference.

    You might think that silly or unachievable, so did I, but not now. I have at the ready books that have made me feel good in the past, a range of music to suit my mood (black for black) , going for a walk to get out of the place where I'm miserable and looking at ducks, a couple of people I can talk with (one tells jokes and it's fun) and other things too.

    May I suggest you try -and keep on trying -to do this? Hard to start, hard to find something you have enjoyed, given you a lift or temporarily let you forget your circumstances.

    Do you have a friend or anyone who might be able ot help you remember?

    It is looking after yourself, and after a while you come to feel you deserve looking after (can you see what I'm trying to say?)

    There is more you can do, as I've found, but I think that is enough for now

    Please come back and say waht you think, I look forward to it

    Croix

  8. 41singleBNE
    41singleBNE avatar
    20 posts
    11 February 2022

    Thank you for your input Croix it's very much appreciated.

    Earlier this week I was lying in bed, unable to sleep, reaching out to online chat services both on BB and lifeline - and generally feeling so alone and helpless I could cry. Which in fact....I did. My wife was busy settling the kids for bed and they all heard my distress. "What's wrong Daddy?", asked my nine year old daughter.

    "Why won't anybody help me!?", and I began to weep. I then ranted something negative, which my wife and the kids quickly debunked. Because I'm on a combination of different meds, and doses of reasonable strength, crying tends to be hard thing for me to do. When the pressure is finally enough to spill over the pot, it's a pretty clear indication that I'm at my mental limits. No job, no car, no outlook.

    It's a tired cliche' but a true one. How quickly things can change. No sooner had I finally gotten a better nights sleep and woken up the next day, the mother in law raps firmly, insistently on the front screen door at 9am sharp. My wife was also home as she hadn't been given a shift that day. Said MIL is a strong as a train and as stoic as a judge, she just keeps on going and doing and will do so until she drops. She quickly hustled the wife into the car. "Uhm...where are youse off to?", I murmured still 4/5ths asleep. "I found a car for $4k for [name omitted], we're going to have a look at it. I'll pay for it."

    Penny slams to the floor. WT absolute F? A few hours later, they both return home. In tandem. In the best car $4k could realistically buy. An old, lovingly cared for mid 90s hatchback with bugger all kms. Proudly driven by some careful old crinkle to the Presbyterian church, then onto the bowls club every Sunday without fail.

    The good news kept getting good-er. The friendly salesman at the used car dealership, turns out is looking for a part time detailer so my name was dropped during the transaction. I quickly phoned back and expressed interest, but was met with more than a snippet of hesitation due to me not being able to get there (we only had one car at this stage - aka the one they just bought).

    It wasn't long before my own parents heard of the good deed obo the MIL. So impressed were they, a generous cash advance was forwarded to me. This had the effect on my self confidence of someone firing a missile.

    Wife and I now have a car each. And pretty soon....a job each. We intend to repay every last cent we have been given as well.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10942 posts
    11 February 2022 in reply to 41singleBNE

    Dear 41singleBNE~

    I'm delighted at your good fortune, your circumstances are now very different, and that's really great!

    You may think I have a one-track mind however life has ups and downs and preparing for the downs is only sensible, as a result I'd still suggest that little spark to look forward to each day. Perhaps your wife can help you put together a list of things to try.

    Starting it while feeling better is the best time

    One ends up finding one can cope a little better with the mountains that rear up.

    Croix

  10. Teek
    Teek avatar
    11 posts
    2 March 2022 in reply to 41singleBNE

    Holding down a job while living with depression and anxiety is really hard.

    I know many people who don’t have the emotional/mental resilience to deal with the horrible politics and bullying that goes on in so many workplaces.

    It is annoying that the Govt Disability Allowance does not cover mental illnesses that can be just as debilitating as physical conditions.

    1 person found this helpful

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