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Topic: I need some advice

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Bofeng
    Bofeng avatar
    3 posts
    2 July 2020

    Hello everyone. Because of Covid-19, I have been working from home for 4 months. The first 2 months were really good, but recently I feel less movitated than usual. I have been told that we change into work from home permanently, at least this year we will not go back to office. I live alone, I feel extremely lonely recently. I have some social activities on weekend, but on working days, it is really hard to face myself that much.

    I sleep on time, do exercise everyday, eat fresh vegetables and fruits every meal, learning a new language, writing in my first language and I am doing a great job, watch a lot of movies, and do reading regularly.But this work from home thing is too long, I feel suffocated more as time goes by. I do not what to do. How to get used to this mode? I feel vulnerable and lonely my friends.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    2202 posts
    2 July 2020 in reply to Bofeng

    Hi Bofeng

    That sounds like a pretty tough gig for you. Oh Welcome to the forums. I hope you will have some great conversation here for yourself over time.

    You are doing SO WELL and I congratulate you on all you do do already! You are handling this really well.
    I'm so glad you do catch up with friends on weekends, that's great.

    I'm just going to come straight out and tell you what I'd do:
    * get a pet, maybe a dog to walk at lunch times,
    * join an early morning yoga class and go a couple of times a week,
    * Take myself out for lunch maybe on Fridays to a local cafe (if it has good food!) and get to know the owners.

    I know I would get involved with our local Permaculture group because I love organic gardening.

    Are there any other interests you could follow up with an IRL class to attend? We have a Community College here that has all sorts of amazing Courses and they award certificates for many too.
    There is always TAFE to look in to as well.

    Here on the forums we have a lovely Friendship thread and some really positive threads to post gratitude stuff - these can help us focus on our Mental Health instead of always being worried about our Mental Health issues.

    What do you think?

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3433 posts
    2 July 2020 in reply to Bofeng

    Hi Bofeng,

    Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're so glad you decided to join us here. We're so sorry to hear how lonely you feel at the moment. We empathise with how difficult it is to be away from friends and colleagues, and it sounds like you've been very proactive in implementing a great self-care routine. Please know that our community is here to support you and offer as much advice and conversation as you need.

    If you feel it might be useful, we'd also encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.

    We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    10722 posts
    2 July 2020 in reply to Bofeng

    Hi Bofeng

    Welcome! You have come to the right place as there are many people (members) like yourself that are also experiencing the same....me included

    You are doing everything possible to cope as well as you can. These are unprecedented times with Covid-19 and even after 35 years in senior management/human resources..I understand your frustration and loneliness

    Not having high expectations can be a huge help to our mindset...The higher our expectations means we have a lot further to fall...I hope that made some sense Bofeng. Can I ask if you have contact via video/Skype or phone during the day?

    Feeling somewhat suffocated is very common during this pandemic....You are not alone!

    just my humble opinion if thats okay....I think you are amazing for being as proactive as you are...seriously!

    any questions are always welcome...there are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you :-)

    my kind thoughts....Paul...(Volunteer)

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Steambeaneriza
    Steambeaneriza avatar
    2 posts
    3 July 2020 in reply to Bofeng
    I really relate to you on being lonely during this time, and I have been an essential worker so at least for to leave the house for work so I'm sure it must be even harder for you.

    I'm not at the other side yet but I've just started using the app bumble (which you may know as a dating app) to make friends and chat to people in their "bff" sections. And so far it's helped a little. I really hope you can work your way through this ❤️
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Bofeng
    Bofeng avatar
    3 posts
    6 July 2020

    @Steambeaneriza @blondguy @Sophie_M @ecomama

    I was very lonely about 20 minutes ago, then decided to come back to see whether anyone reply. I am crying when I see all of your kind words. Thank you very much. All of you.

  7. feelingblue97
    feelingblue97 avatar
    5 posts
    6 July 2020 in reply to Bofeng

    Hi I hope you read this and find it useful

    You're pretty much doing all the right thing in taking care of yourself, but sometimes we just need that social interaction to make us feel good. When we have a good conversation with someone else it really does make a big change in us.

    That's really good of you to come here and post in the forums, Im new to here as well, being here and seeing so many posts gives you that feeling that you're not alone in your feelings. There are other people going through similar things too

    During these tough times, its important to have a good inner dialoug. Talk to yourself in a positive and caring way. There's that self help tip which says Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for.

    Talk on the phone with your friends and family, work on the relationships you have with people that you close to you

    And one final point, just remember that life does go on, and these rough patches do eventually go away

  8. Lily20
    Lily20 avatar
    2 posts
    9 July 2020 in reply to Bofeng

    Seconding what others have said. First, if it's reasonable for your situation, get a pet (I'd personally got with a cat, as I find them lower maintenance than a dog), for two reasons - one, it gives you someone else to take care of, and can help you focus outside of yourself. Second, they can be hugely comforting when you need physical affection, which it sounds like you may be missing.

    Next, call your friends and family - if you can, set aside time for a nice long catch-up (30-60 minutes, if reasonable). My parents live on the other side of the world, but we still talk multiple times a week, and I cannot tell you how much that helps. Even just chat messages with friends can help remind you that you have people out there who care about you.

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