Just to be clear, I was not saying you personallly (or anyone amongst this forum) do not understand, just some friends & peers in my life that do not really know what it is like to live with bipolar, which has perfectly been depicted in a TED talk, that you can get if you google Laura Bain.
I really do thank you and appreciate you for your response!
A pressure valve is a great analogy for how I have been feeling. And no, I do not feel it's helpful to rage at anyone, and then I get stuck in this place position of being passive I guess- and then I get angry.
I have never liked journaling as such, but I do love to write songs, and there is generally a flow of creative ideas and lyrics/tunes when I cannot sleep.
I have tried my best to get my parents some support. Dad is totally in denial, mum is sort of in therapy but I guess relies on me as I am her youngest daughter and apparently the most stable (yikes!).
Brene Brown has probably one of my favourite TED talk ever which you can google her work on Youtube.
I love her research, and her very candid approach to, well everything! It was one of the reasons I went on to study Pschology, along with Helen Fisher, that you can also get her work from Youtube.
I would really like to talk more about my pains around not being a mum (maybe, yet?).
Thank you again for being in touch.