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Topic: Lapsing into depression after moving house

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    1325 posts
    9 January 2020

    Hi all,

    I've posted heaps about my mistake in moving from a coastal town to and inland town, and I don't know if anyone can really help but I am so homesick and without anything to do I am lapsing into serious depression. A combination here of heat, drought and smoke have curtailed any hope of walks with my dog except late in the day just a stroll in the one park that is kept alive and green in the drought here.

    Where I lived before we had a set routine - go for a short walk in one place where Sam my little dog could have a paddle, then go home and have lunch, after lunch visit the OpShop and then go to one of the outdoor cafes to get a breeze and have a read and a cool drink or sometimes meet with a friend. Usually there were other people to chat with and I knew the staff at the cafes, it was a little town.

    Now in Big Inland Town I feel lost. The only dog friendly cafes are in the street near traffic and unpleasant in the hot weather. It's too hot to walk and there is no sea breeze here! I miss the sea and the beautiful places I used to live and I am beating myself up over making such a horrible mistake moving here, only realising now that what I had was a cramped tiny Housing flat but I did have lovely walks and outdoor cafes go to with my beloved dog.

    Here I have lost all those things. I saw the house in the snow and wasn't really aware of just how terrible the drought was and didn't know how hot the summers had become. There are almost no shady walks here. The cafes are mostly in the shopping malls. Without aircon the house is hot, it has no verandahs it's an old 1950s fibro and the yard is hot, dry and full of burs so not the lovely yard I was hoping for my dog to enjoy.

    My poor dog seems depressed and I am sleeping in until almost midday because there is nothing to do and no company. I've been to two GPs here, both women were rude and one was quite abusive, yelling at me because I called her Dr and her first name (as the reception staff told me to do) and didn't call her whatever her surname was. They've halved my antidepressant medication and anti-anxiety meds at the worst possible time.

    I tell myself in Autumn we will be able to walk more but how do I keep my spirits up when I am so homesick, can't move back, and am beating myself up for making such a mistake and for making by beloved dog so miserable? Any help please, I know there is no clear solution, just some kind words would help. Thanks.

     

  2. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    1325 posts
    9 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi, I should have mentioned before moving to Big Inland Town I'd had three years in little coastal town as I fled there when I was put out of my rental as the owner wanted to move in, and with nowhere to go my psychiatrist broke confidence with his secretary about me (out of concern I realise) and she and her family wanted to take me in for a while - that was on the coast near the city - but they turned out to be abusive, he was violent, they were emotionally abusive to me, I have heaps of emails from her (from her work address - my pyschiatrist's secretary to a patient!!) criticising everything about me - my hair, what I ate, what I spent, where I went etc etc etc. In the end I was breaking down and I fled after seeing a social worker at Centrelink who confirmed I was suffering domestic violence and I have her report.

    I moved up the coast and was homeless in little coastal town for most of a year, only due to the help of the owners of a caravan park did I get an old caravan to rent and an urgent application to public housing. It was a terrifying time. After I got into public housing I spent 3 years in small coastal town recovering and just having a very quiet life. Then I felt like maybe there was more for me here, friends elsewhere were telling me I'd get dementia from doing nothing... but it's been a huge mistake and overwhelming for my dog.

    I've also discovered I am frightened to go out without my dog. For four years he has gone everywhere with me and now I cannot take him to the library or the cafes here and without him beside me I feel very scared.

    Thanks for reading anyone. Just some support would be great.

  3. black_rose
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    black_rose avatar
    33 posts
    9 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hannah.

    Firstly let me so I am so glad you have your little dog, they make such wonderful companions, sometimes better than my partner (shh don't tell him, lol) I have 2 tiny puppers and love them to bits. They really help more than people realise.

    I am so sorry you feel the way you do. I use to love in the city and loved it, moved to a small town, hated it, moved back to the city, realised I hated that more and moved back country.

    Right now you are going through a major change, understandably it's all come as a shock, and feelings of being homesick are not uncommon, especially if things are so different.

    I feel for you that you find it upsetting that you can't take your little dog with you like you were use to. Sounds to me like she was more a support for you to go and do things and to longer have that when you go out must be so hard.

    I know my puppers are more support than anything, they're teeny, so usually I hold them in my arms when in dog friendly places and I find their tiny bodies soothing. I also like to think I'm helping them with their aversion to strangers, but alas, I don't think so. At least they bark these days, unless a stranger comes too close.

    You mentioned the GPs you saw were rather rude, how unprofessional also very bad practice for them to reduce your meds without knowing your full history. Is there any other GPs you can see? Even if it's a little travel time.

    I hate seeing new GPs, I had one when I moved here refuse to give me any anti anxiety meds when my dad died because he thought I was some sort of addict. I never went back saw another GP got the meds I needed used them to get me through and that was it. I was actually quite offended at being referred to as an addict.. thankfully I now have a GP who is wonderful.

    I really hope you find something to help you out of the funk you find you self in, I can only imagine how it must be making you feel, go easy on yourself though big changes always take time to adjust to

  4. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    1325 posts
    9 January 2020 in reply to black_rose

    Thanks black rose for posting. I feel silly as I've had lots of support on the BB site but find myself hitting a real low as time goes by. I've had another GP recommended as being very nice so I am going to try one more time - I'm in my sixties but because of the drug I'm on they seem to assume I'm a drug addict (which is what you say you got too) but for goodness sake at my age and I've been on the stuff for years and it really helps.

    So I really hope this new GP (who is at the same practice unfortunately) will be OK, I'll have to say I didn't like the manner of the other two and don't wish to see them again...

    Interesting you moved several times too that makes me feel a bit better that other people can move and find it doesn't work out - just that as I am in public housing a transfer is hard to get and takes ages, if only I had my own home I could sell and move back and cut my losses, I have to realize I am stuck for the time being.

    Funnily enough when I was staying living in a caravan in a mobile home park back in Small Coastal Town I found it had a real community feel - not like this suburban street where the neighbours never seem to speak to each other. It was a bit gossipy but you knew everyone and if you were sick or anything there would always be someone to know about it and help out. I wonder why we can't manage that in the suburbs.

    If I had enough I'd be happy to live in a small cabin in a caravan park back where I was, but even those are going for around a hundred thousand dollars now, unbelievable. I've even been thinking of hiring a van and driving around Australia for a while I've always wanted to do that.

    Yes I feel very alone without Sam, he's my little furry shadow and it feels wrong not to have him out with me - at the cafes in Coastal Town the café staff all knew him and would give him pats and treats, it was nice.

    Oh well I have to work out some sort of solution. Thanks for the support it's appreciated.

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