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Topic: Made to suffer

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Justin95
    Justin95 avatar
    9 posts
    13 October 2021
    Hearing people cough or sneeze really brings pain and brings out the worst of me. I’m trying my best to just ignore but I have next door neighbors that do this type of thing everyday. Have you ever had this type of problem? If so how do you cope when you hear it I want to know your perspective on this.
  2. Petal22
    Community Champion
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    Petal22 avatar
    1118 posts
    13 October 2021 in reply to Justin95

    Hi Justin95,

    Im sorry you are feeling this way, if it is distressing you I recommend you see your gp and discuss how you are feeling.

    You could do a mental health plan together, this will enable you to see a psychologist.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. therising
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    therising avatar
    2091 posts
    14 October 2021 in reply to Justin95

    Hi Justin

    It's horrible when you're dealing with certain sounds which a highly triggering. While some may say 'You're just being over sensitive, get over it', when these sounds really trigger your nervous system in a particular way, your nervous system and thoughts can take you to the brink of screaming in uncontrollable fury. Suddenly, in fight/flight/freeze mode, you're up for a fight. It's even worse when you have no control over what others do, like with your neighbours.

    For me, it's ticking clocks and dripping taps, largely. They seriously trigger me. It was also my husband's car at one point. He bought a V8 Commodore last year. It's actually this car which led me to understand what all the aggravating sounds were really about. Every time he leaves the garage, the ground vibrates and the sound through the ether is loud enough to annoy the neighbours at 7am. For me, I came to realise all the sounds that annoy me actually annoy me because they are a disruption or interruption to my sense of peace. If you imagine peace as a feeling and you think about how peace feels, I imagine you'd say you enjoy feeling peace. So, every time someone or something disrupts that, it's triggering. A disruption of focus is also triggering. Having to refocus constantly is definitely annoying.

    When my husband leaves the garage these days, I practice my mantra 'My sense of peace will return, I'll refocus'. Would you say your sense of peace is in between the coughs and sneezes but you may not notice it, as the coughing and sneezing is the most outstanding thing over a period of time? Would you say you don't notice your sense of peace until it's not there?

    I think repetitive sounds can be the worst. it's like you've got a measuring cup and with each tick, drip, cough or sneeze, you're measuring the accumulating level of aggravation, as it builds more and more. I imagine hayfever season to be such a highly triggering time of year for you.

    At the end of the day, I manage what's within my power to manage. If I'm not in a position to manage others, I work out how I can manage myself. Kind of like manipulating your own brain in order to change perspective, a massive challenge at times.

    Yep, triggering sounds can really take you to the brink of insanity. There are times where if someone leaves a tap dripping in my house it almost becomes a full investigation into the crime, 'WHO LEFT THE TAP ON?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TURN IT OFF?! GOD DAMN IT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!!!' :)

    1 person found this helpful
  4. The Bro
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    The Bro avatar
    143 posts
    14 October 2021 in reply to Justin95

    Gidday Justin95 and thanks for your post!

    Yes I too hate it when I hear an unexpected cough or sneeze. I had tenants living below in my house once and he used to kind of 'scream' at the same time as he sneezed. It really got to me and I had to ask him to quieten down which he did.

    Now it's my dog that hates it when I sneeze!

    I'm really not sure what triggers this reaction with me but I do my very best to say to myself 'It's only a cough, it doesn't really matter, just be calm' and so on. I guess I have to ask do I have any control over the cough or sneeze? The answer normally is no. So it's an opportunity to practice calming yourself. Sometimes I visualise Mercury pouring smoothly over a surface and say to myself over and over the mantra 'Liquid Smooth' which helps to calm me.

    Of course if the person also yells or screams at the same time you might be able to ask politely if they can sneeze more quietly.

    If this is causing you genuine pain it might be an idea to see your Doctor and get a medical opinion.

    All the very best with this, I sincerely hope you can 'Calm' your way through it.

    The Bro

    1 person found this helpful
  5. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    11917 posts
    14 October 2021 in reply to Justin95


    Noises can be annoying snd triggering. My partner sneezes but it sounds like a coughs and he does about 6 at once , or a dripping tap annoys me but I do deep breathing and try to distract myself.
    is there anything you can do so the noise is not annoying.

    1 person found this helpful

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