I dont even know what is the right way when it comes to dating. Ive gone in with different approaches, dont over do it or be more open and interesting, no matter what I always end up failing. I could never get an answer or at least and honest, and these past 12 months if not longer, I have questioned myself plenty of times and now I just think it will never happen.
Today was no different to yesterday, I woke up from maybe 2-3 hours sleep, did the same routine at work, went for a walk and clear my mind but still cannot stop thinking about this girl. Its hard to move on from someone I had a good connection with. If she wasnt ready or wasnt interested, then her words mean absolutely nothing. Its like Ive been lied to because she didnt know how to say she wasnt interested. Its the same thing over and over again. But I wish she could be a chance and I could tell her how much I like her. Its unfair if she judged me on my outside, I mean I didnt her judge at all.
Ive tried to have good conversations with others on dating apps, but it hasnt worked, even a simple Hi or Hello they turn away, same thing in person. I'm clearly not good enough for anyone.
As far as respecting the decision to ghost me, well I dont know how I feel about that. I'm a bit annoyed with some of the others that have done it me. There has been a few occasions however where they have told me the reason. It wasnt much to do with me it was just that they found a connection with somebody else. So instead of ghosting me they apologised, told me they were interested in someone else and wished me luck. Whilst I was a little hurt, as one I had a really good conversation for a month, I respected her so much for doing that. I wished her good luck and I hope she is doing really well.
If I'm being honest I havent loved or respected myself for quite a while. Maybe a small period like recently when I felt wanted and liked by somebody which made me feel really good but when you've had so much bad luck in your life recently, treated with disrespect and people didnt care, how can I feel positive?
Even the stuff I am so passionate for, sport, music, I dont feel as motivated as I used to be. I'm a massive NRL fan and love my team but lately I dont even know who is playing and I'm usually focused on that and mates would ask my advise on.
Dont want to sound too negative but thats how I am feeling right now : (