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Welcome and orientation

Anxious about posting? Drop in here to say hi, we'd like to get to know you. In here you'll find lots of newbies, info about how the forums work, and you can give us suggestions on how to make things better around here.

2915 17537
by mocha delight
31 minutes ago
Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

Space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing with other carers.

1980 11678
by Matchy69
2 minutes ago
Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family, and friendships.

4222 28418
by Sally73
2 hours ago

Space for discussion of generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, and eating disorders.

4370 28922
by Romy
1 hour ago

Space for discussion of major depression, bipolar disorder, cyclothymic and dysthymic disorders, and BPD (borderline personality disorder).

4056 29445
by MissBenthos
6 hours ago
Young people

Space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life and wellbeing issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other.

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Grief and loss

Support following the bereavement of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

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by Guest_0345
3 days and 18 hours ago


  1. jessicas94
    jessicas94 avatar
    0 posts
    16 August 2018

    Hi. I’m new to the forum.

    I am feeling lost right now. Like I have no where to go and no where I belong. I just don’t understand. I used to have this feeling every second day about a year ago and now all of a sudden I am getting these horrible feelings again. And so randomly! I have a great life, I have a partner who loves me, a great and happy family who cares for me and a well paying job that I work 5 days a week. Why am I feeling like this? This is the third day now and all I want to do is chuck everything away and run and hide somewhere where no one will find me. I’m not sure if this is depression or just being emotional for nothing.

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Jeff42
    Jeff42 avatar
    0 posts
    1 November 2018 in reply to AGrace
    I found a free app called mood mission that gives you little things that you can do when you’re having a hard time. It helps me sometimes. Maybe it could help someone else.
    3 people found this helpful
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    SPOONO avatar
    4 posts
    20 November 2018 in reply to AGrace

    I would like to add to this impressive list:

    I write down things that are bothering me so I don't have to think about the nasty, only where it's written down.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Megan2019
    Megan2019 avatar
    3 posts
    27 December 2018
    How to help a family member with depression who is on medication that isn’t entirely working? A mother, she can’t get up in the morning, can’t be around crowds, can’t get on with daily household chores, relying on others to take her out, it’s exhausting! Needing some more immediate tips to provide to her....
  5. Angelique03
    Angelique03 avatar
    0 posts
    17 March 2019 in reply to Megan2019
    She may be eligible for a mental health support worker. They work with you to get the house work done if you are struggling with a mental illness. A mental health support worker will help to motivate her to do things for herself and work alongside her. She can tell her doctor she is not coping with things round the house and get them to give her a referral. Going for a half an hour walk every morning helps with energy levels
    1 person found this helpful
  6. IreneM
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    IreneM avatar
    29 posts
    17 March 2019

    One of the best pieces of advice I had was from a doctor when my husband was suicidal from having no work.

    He offered an antidepressant and he refused because he knew someone who had died from them, so the Doctor suggested Fish Oil.

    "Fish Oil?" we thought what good can that do? So that got us researching and we found that it helps to produce Serotonin. Along with that we found that Sunlight helps to produce Serotonin. Now we both have our first drink of the day outside, whether it is sunny or not and the sunlight does make a big difference not only to your mood but also to your energy levels. Now we only use the Fish Oil if we still get really down.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. BellaM
    BellaM avatar
    0 posts
    17 March 2019 in reply to jessicas94
    Depending what your interests are, you could try drawing or writing your thoughts/lack of thoughts, when feeling like this. Creates a distraction and time waster.
    2 people found this helpful
  8. ColeCole
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    ColeCole avatar
    0 posts
    13 May 2019
    I find when thoughts can get a bit intrusive, listening to podcasts gives me something to focus on. Listening to other people having interesting and comedic discussions allows me to direct my focus away from negative thoughts.
    5 people found this helpful
  9. IreneM
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    IreneM avatar
    29 posts
    14 May 2019 in reply to ColeCole

    When thoughts become too much I now just write them down.

    As part of my new online Wellness course that is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) based, learning the art of Thought Challenging is initially confronting but at the same time rewarding. So now I use a Thought Diary and just write down anything that comes into my head or out of my mouth without me realising it.

    Later when I have the time I use the opposite page to change that to something more realistic and positive. I also use stickers and cards in my purse, on my bedside table, desk and other common places, to remind me of the realistic thoughts. It is all about Replacing the Negative Thoughts with Realistic and Positive Thoughts.


    3 people found this helpful
  10. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    260 posts
    14 May 2019 in reply to IreneM

    Hi everyone this is a great thread and very good input thanks I haven't read it all yet but like what I have so far

    This has to do with mindfulness, it's not an overnight fix but then again often depression is a lifetime of niggling pain built up.

    Being aware of our thoughts which with practise is well worth it. Until we learn to find positives and happy memories goals gratitude of what we do have which is blurred or buried with depression it's difficult to stop or avoid our first thought

    What we can do is learn to hear it but not allow the pain associated with emotion that follows the thought and cascades. With depression we see things in a negative light.

    By hearing our thought then either distraction whether looking around the room and focusing on items or thinking of a positive can be of great help. The more positive and good memories we think of means less room for negatives I believe we can only have although lightening speed one thought at a time.

    Good memories can also be positive triggers.

    It's our reaction to the original thought that takes us into deeper painful thinking that we feel.

    Ultimately it's our thoughts that lift or undo us.

    I like the idea writing them down and later in better headspace more strength from bettet sleep we can work through them more consciously.

    Don't give up people there is ways of coming out the other side for most of us.

    Once we take the drivers seat to our thinking and learn new ways there is light at the end of the dark tunnels.

    It's in us, we have the strength, it's finding and learning to use the tools we have

    We're capable of tremendous power in our favour, our minds are complex amazing computers just needing our direction towards peace 🕊

    Best to everyone ⚘🌱new beginnings can start now ☺

    3 people found this helpful
  11. Ash91
    Ash91 avatar
    0 posts
    5 August 2019 in reply to AGrace
    Hi everyone! So I just thought I would post as I'm struggling with finding the motivation and energy to actually pull myself out of the depression slump. I have my tools of how to help myself but most of the time I feel so horrible and have such little energy that it makes doing anything almost impossible and feels like a failure. How do you cope with that deep feeling in your gut of depression/anxiety? Even if I think positive and change my thoughts, the stabbing feeling inside never goes away and cannot be ignored.
    2 people found this helpful
  12. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    534 posts
    5 August 2019 in reply to Ash91

    welcome Ash to the forum and thanks for first post. It can be hard to write down how one is feeling so well done.

    I understand about that feeling and that no matter how positive you are, you still have that sinking feeling.

    Have you tried to write down your thoughts and then look at it later and see what you can reword.

    Scroll down and see IreneMs post where she describes what you do.

    Sometimes I have just said ok I will feel like this but it is just a feeling and I can ignore it and just trying the positive thoughts.

    I find if I can distract myself that stabbing feeling may nor go away but it lessens. Is there something that you really like, music, art, exercise.or anything you can do as a distraction.

    These ideas may not suit you. Have you read some of the recent posts on this thread?

    Feel free to post here and further discuss this topic.


  13. Leon80
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Leon80 avatar
    0 posts
    29 August 2019 in reply to jessicas94

    It sounds like depression to me, have you spoke your partner and or your GP? It can be scary to raise depression with your partner for fear they might think you are crazy, but if they love (and I’m sure they do) they will listen and understand and help you to get the help.

    i spent years not divulging the full extent of my depression and the terrible thoughts I was having because I feared I would get out in an asylum but when things hit rock bottom for me I spoke the truth to my wife and my GP.

    3 years on and after some fairly intensive outpatient therapy I am making progress - it can be a long road but it’s worth the fight!

    Something that I wrote down that came to my mind that I love because it seems to resonates clearly with people who are depressed and or have anxiety is;

    ’Having depression and anxiety is the loneliest feeling in the world’ - even though we have our loved ones and friends around us we still always feel misunderstood and on the outer or I do anyway! But we’re not alone and you’re not alone and asking for help is the first step to healing x

    3 people found this helpful
  14. do71
    do71 avatar
    0 posts
    16 September 2019
    I always feel like I am not good enough at anything..my looks..my weight gain..I feel numb I dont want to do anything and this gets worse when I drink, I then get abusive becaused I have bottled it up..I have to fix me otherwise I am going to loose everything...this is the start of recognising I am depressed
  15. kiga283
    kiga283 avatar
    0 posts
    19 December 2019

    I have more recently been feeling many different symptoms of depression. Always feeling bored. Like everything I'm doing is pointless. Feeling like sleeping a lot but it is hard because of anxiety. I don't have energy or motivation to do anything that requires leaving my bedroom.

    Although these feelings are common and strong, trust me. Getting out and doing things REALLY HELPS. Exersizing and socializing makes me feel amazing. Even in downtime, I like to talk to loved ones or watch a show to keep my mind busy.

    Another thing that helps me cope is remembering that this struggling will all be over one day and that I can get through anything.

  16. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    2 posts
    19 December 2019 in reply to kiga283

    I'm feeling depressed watching the bushfires today - I feel so helpless to do anything and it's all so horrible...

    Anyone else feeling depressed by the fires? I've promised myself to watch a nice happy movie tonight to take my mind off it - and pat my dog - dogs are wonderful therapy...

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