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Welcome and orientation

Anxious about posting? Drop in here to say hi, we'd like to get to know you. In here you'll find lots of newbies, info about how the forums work, and you can give us suggestions on how to make things better around here.

4297 25975
by mmMekitty
9 hours ago
Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers)

Space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing with other carers.

2340 14989
by Sophie_M
2 hours ago
Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family, and friendships.

5961 43817

Space for discussion of generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), social anxiety, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, and eating disorders.

6182 43212
by Petal22
2 hours ago

Space for discussion of major depression, bipolar disorder, cyclothymic and dysthymic disorders, and BPD (borderline personality disorder).

5340 39736
by Fiatlux
1 minute ago
Young people

Space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life and wellbeing issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other.

3914 20997
by Croix
1 day and 7 hours ago
Grief and loss

Support following the bereavement of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

680 4402
by Ggrand
2 days and 3 hours ago


  1. jessicas94
    jessicas94 avatar
    1 posts
    16 August 2018

    Hi. I’m new to the forum.

    I am feeling lost right now. Like I have no where to go and no where I belong. I just don’t understand. I used to have this feeling every second day about a year ago and now all of a sudden I am getting these horrible feelings again. And so randomly! I have a great life, I have a partner who loves me, a great and happy family who cares for me and a well paying job that I work 5 days a week. Why am I feeling like this? This is the third day now and all I want to do is chuck everything away and run and hide somewhere where no one will find me. I’m not sure if this is depression or just being emotional for nothing.

    4 people found this helpful
  2. Jeff42
    Jeff42 avatar
    3 posts
    1 November 2018 in reply to AGrace
    I found a free app called mood mission that gives you little things that you can do when you’re having a hard time. It helps me sometimes. Maybe it could help someone else.
    5 people found this helpful
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    SPOONO avatar
    67 posts
    20 November 2018 in reply to AGrace

    I would like to add to this impressive list:

    I write down things that are bothering me so I don't have to think about the nasty, only where it's written down.

    3 people found this helpful
  4. Megan2019
    Megan2019 avatar
    4 posts
    27 December 2018
    How to help a family member with depression who is on medication that isn’t entirely working? A mother, she can’t get up in the morning, can’t be around crowds, can’t get on with daily household chores, relying on others to take her out, it’s exhausting! Needing some more immediate tips to provide to her....
  5. Angelique03
    Angelique03 avatar
    8 posts
    17 March 2019 in reply to Megan2019
    She may be eligible for a mental health support worker. They work with you to get the house work done if you are struggling with a mental illness. A mental health support worker will help to motivate her to do things for herself and work alongside her. She can tell her doctor she is not coping with things round the house and get them to give her a referral. Going for a half an hour walk every morning helps with energy levels
    1 person found this helpful
  6. IreneM
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    IreneM avatar
    315 posts
    17 March 2019

    One of the best pieces of advice I had was from a doctor when my husband was suicidal from having no work.

    He offered an antidepressant and he refused because he knew someone who had died from them, so the Doctor suggested Fish Oil.

    "Fish Oil?" we thought what good can that do? So that got us researching and we found that it helps to produce Serotonin. Along with that we found that Sunlight helps to produce Serotonin. Now we both have our first drink of the day outside, whether it is sunny or not and the sunlight does make a big difference not only to your mood but also to your energy levels. Now we only use the Fish Oil if we still get really down.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. BellaM
    BellaM avatar
    1 posts
    17 March 2019 in reply to jessicas94
    Depending what your interests are, you could try drawing or writing your thoughts/lack of thoughts, when feeling like this. Creates a distraction and time waster.
    2 people found this helpful
  8. ColeCole
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    ColeCole avatar
    3 posts
    13 May 2019
    I find when thoughts can get a bit intrusive, listening to podcasts gives me something to focus on. Listening to other people having interesting and comedic discussions allows me to direct my focus away from negative thoughts.
    5 people found this helpful
  9. IreneM
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    IreneM avatar
    315 posts
    13 May 2019 in reply to ColeCole

    When thoughts become too much I now just write them down.

    As part of my new online Wellness course that is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) based, learning the art of Thought Challenging is initially confronting but at the same time rewarding. So now I use a Thought Diary and just write down anything that comes into my head or out of my mouth without me realising it.

    Later when I have the time I use the opposite page to change that to something more realistic and positive. I also use stickers and cards in my purse, on my bedside table, desk and other common places, to remind me of the realistic thoughts. It is all about Replacing the Negative Thoughts with Realistic and Positive Thoughts.


    4 people found this helpful
  10. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7796 posts
    14 May 2019 in reply to IreneM

    Hi everyone this is a great thread and very good input thanks I haven't read it all yet but like what I have so far

    This has to do with mindfulness, it's not an overnight fix but then again often depression is a lifetime of niggling pain built up.

    Being aware of our thoughts which with practise is well worth it. Until we learn to find positives and happy memories goals gratitude of what we do have which is blurred or buried with depression it's difficult to stop or avoid our first thought

    What we can do is learn to hear it but not allow the pain associated with emotion that follows the thought and cascades. With depression we see things in a negative light.

    By hearing our thought then either distraction whether looking around the room and focusing on items or thinking of a positive can be of great help. The more positive and good memories we think of means less room for negatives I believe we can only have although lightening speed one thought at a time.

    Good memories can also be positive triggers.

    It's our reaction to the original thought that takes us into deeper painful thinking that we feel.

    Ultimately it's our thoughts that lift or undo us.

    I like the idea writing them down and later in better headspace more strength from bettet sleep we can work through them more consciously.

    Don't give up people there is ways of coming out the other side for most of us.

    Once we take the drivers seat to our thinking and learn new ways there is light at the end of the dark tunnels.

    It's in us, we have the strength, it's finding and learning to use the tools we have

    We're capable of tremendous power in our favour, our minds are complex amazing computers just needing our direction towards peace 🕊

    Best to everyone ⚘🌱new beginnings can start now ☺

    3 people found this helpful
  11. Ash91
    Ash91 avatar
    1 posts
    5 August 2019 in reply to AGrace
    Hi everyone! So I just thought I would post as I'm struggling with finding the motivation and energy to actually pull myself out of the depression slump. I have my tools of how to help myself but most of the time I feel so horrible and have such little energy that it makes doing anything almost impossible and feels like a failure. How do you cope with that deep feeling in your gut of depression/anxiety? Even if I think positive and change my thoughts, the stabbing feeling inside never goes away and cannot be ignored.
    2 people found this helpful
  12. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14296 posts
    5 August 2019 in reply to Ash91

    welcome Ash to the forum and thanks for first post. It can be hard to write down how one is feeling so well done.

    I understand about that feeling and that no matter how positive you are, you still have that sinking feeling.

    Have you tried to write down your thoughts and then look at it later and see what you can reword.

    Scroll down and see IreneMs post where she describes what you do.

    Sometimes I have just said ok I will feel like this but it is just a feeling and I can ignore it and just trying the positive thoughts.

    I find if I can distract myself that stabbing feeling may nor go away but it lessens. Is there something that you really like, music, art, exercise.or anything you can do as a distraction.

    These ideas may not suit you. Have you read some of the recent posts on this thread?

    Feel free to post here and further discuss this topic.


  13. Leon80
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Leon80 avatar
    3 posts
    29 August 2019 in reply to jessicas94

    It sounds like depression to me, have you spoke your partner and or your GP? It can be scary to raise depression with your partner for fear they might think you are crazy, but if they love (and I’m sure they do) they will listen and understand and help you to get the help.

    i spent years not divulging the full extent of my depression and the terrible thoughts I was having because I feared I would get out in an asylum but when things hit rock bottom for me I spoke the truth to my wife and my GP.

    3 years on and after some fairly intensive outpatient therapy I am making progress - it can be a long road but it’s worth the fight!

    Something that I wrote down that came to my mind that I love because it seems to resonates clearly with people who are depressed and or have anxiety is;

    ’Having depression and anxiety is the loneliest feeling in the world’ - even though we have our loved ones and friends around us we still always feel misunderstood and on the outer or I do anyway! But we’re not alone and you’re not alone and asking for help is the first step to healing x

    5 people found this helpful
  14. do71
    do71 avatar
    2 posts
    16 September 2019
    I always feel like I am not good enough at anything..my looks..my weight gain..I feel numb I dont want to do anything and this gets worse when I drink, I then get abusive becaused I have bottled it up..I have to fix me otherwise I am going to loose everything...this is the start of recognising I am depressed
  15. kiga283
    kiga283 avatar
    6 posts
    19 December 2019

    I have more recently been feeling many different symptoms of depression. Always feeling bored. Like everything I'm doing is pointless. Feeling like sleeping a lot but it is hard because of anxiety. I don't have energy or motivation to do anything that requires leaving my bedroom.

    Although these feelings are common and strong, trust me. Getting out and doing things REALLY HELPS. Exersizing and socializing makes me feel amazing. Even in downtime, I like to talk to loved ones or watch a show to keep my mind busy.

    Another thing that helps me cope is remembering that this struggling will all be over one day and that I can get through anything.

    3 people found this helpful
  16. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3575 posts
    19 December 2019 in reply to kiga283

    I'm feeling depressed watching the bushfires today - I feel so helpless to do anything and it's all so horrible...

    Anyone else feeling depressed by the fires? I've promised myself to watch a nice happy movie tonight to take my mind off it - and pat my dog - dogs are wonderful therapy...

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Nicko001
    Nicko001 avatar
    2 posts
    26 August 2020

    Hi. Does anyone know of any daily motivation apps? what I am after is an app were I am sent a positive task to do for the day as soon as I wake up.

    You help is appreciated

    1 person found this helpful
  18. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7796 posts
    26 August 2020 in reply to Nicko001

    Hi everyone 😊

    Nicko001 welcome lovey to bb ☺ here's such a good place with caring people looking out for eachother.

    That's a really good question hun that unfortunately I'm clueless on but someone might know.

    I know Smiling minds is popular here but I dont know if it motivates. I haven't gone far into it.

    Maybe a google search. If you find something useful I'd love to hear and I know many people including myself struggle with motivation.

    Maybe see you around 😊

    Hannah hi lovey read your post just then. I hope the good movie helped you back then.

    Yes very sad when nature takes hold and creates destruction.

    Great the dogs keep you company they look cute 😊

  19. Addy.W
    Addy.W avatar
    1 posts
    27 August 2020

    Hi everyone

    I am very new to all this I have never joined a forum before and I am confused about how it all works I read the rules and I?m still don?t understand

    but hi I am a 17 year old male I have only really started noticing my depression this week and the other night I hurt myself as I was just over life but I am scared that it might get worse so I decided to get help and to hopefully talk about it on here and hear others storeys and how their getting though there tough times

    And how to relax and stopping getting those thoughts

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    6608 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to Addy.W
    Welcome to the forums, Addy W, we are so glad that you've joined the community and shared your struggle with us today. It sounds like you're really working toward finding ways to manage the depression, which can be so hard. We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it. 
    2 people found this helpful
  21. Sally5
    Sally5  avatar
    2 posts
    27 August 2020 in reply to jessicas94
    Hi Jessica94,
    Thank you for sharing your fears and feelings. I used to have similar feelings. I have a great life too, great job, but felt like I didn't belong. Two things, I somehow came to realise that I am as perfectly imperfect as everyone else on the planet, and imposter syndrome is a real thing. Discovering these things helped me.
    You are perfect beautiful, and exactly where you are meant to be 💕
    1 person found this helpful
  22. chloe.xx
    chloe.xx  avatar
    29 posts
    1 September 2020 in reply to jessicas94

    Hi Jessica,

    Welcome to the forum! This forum provides a safe and friendly environment for people to communicate and support each other. Firstly, you sound like an amazing person with a wonderful partner, family and job.

    Your partner and family are there to support you, have you talked to them how you are feeling? Even though it may be scary at first, I am sure they will provide you with the support and love you need. If you feel more comfortable talking to a professional, Beyond blue has a 24/7 support service available at 1300 22 4636.

    You will get through this, all the best,


    1 person found this helpful
  23. Yara
    Yara avatar
    2 posts
    5 September 2020
    I fought with my partner, and he left, I have guilty feeling that I'm the one who initiate the problem, too much down, how come after our efforts to make this bind working properly, he decided to left? I'm in the grieve stage, and don't know how to get over it
    2 people found this helpful
  24. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7796 posts
    6 September 2020 in reply to Yara

    Hi there everyone ☺

    Welcome to the forums Lara ☺good to see you. Well done reaching out for help and expressing how you're feelings not always easy, you've done well ☺.

    It's really hard when there's breaks whether temporary or permanent it hurts for sure.

    Darl this threads about depression that you clearly you poor person are going through and is also about tips for helping to cope with it. There might hopefully be something in it that can help you.

    Otherwise the better way for you to get support lovey is to start a new thread of your own where people who've been in similar circumstances might be able to help with advice and support.

    If you're unsure how to start one if you from the top of the page go to FAQ in the Red button Sophie has posted how to on the first post.

    If any questions feel free to ask and if you like you could let us know the name of your thread here.

    I do hope it goes ok for you in time. At the moment it wouldn't feel so good at all. I'm sorry you're hurting 💗

  25. Calico898
    Calico898 avatar
    1 posts
    13 September 2020

    How do I stop unhealthy coping habits? I stress eat and absolutely despise myself afterwards, then overeat because the day is “ruined anyway”. I also find it hard to get up and exercise, which again feels like I’m being lazy and useless.

    2 people found this helpful
  26. Flowertop
    Flowertop avatar
    51 posts
    26 September 2020 in reply to Calico898

    I know the feeling, it is a vicious cycle. I have been trying to do 2 small things a day, Today I exercised on the morning(forced myself) and then spent some time outside.

    Small steps at a time. I have been binge eating a lot lately and it never feels good.

    1 person found this helpful
  27. Jolyn
    Jolyn avatar
    2 posts
    17 October 2020 in reply to AGrace


    I wish I could do something but I can hardly get through the day

    1 person found this helpful
  28. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7796 posts
    17 October 2020 in reply to Jolyn

    Hi there Calico898/Flowertop/Jolyn and readers 🖐

    Good to see you all ☺ welcome and thanks for posting.

    Youse did well navigating and posting here. If you'd like to make a thread for your own space to post in we'll be able to support you as here's for tips for coping with depression.

    4th Post above you'll find how to do threads. If any probs you could ask in the FAQ Red button at the top of pages.

    Also you may like to let us know the name of your thread here if you do, someone reading here might pop over and when I can I'll come over because I can relate to it all. Too much fun isn't it

    Hope your days have been better 🌞

    🌱 new beginnings start from inside

  29. LeeD
    LeeD avatar
    4 posts
    20 October 2020 in reply to Megan2019

    Hi Megan!

    I feel the exact same way the only difference is it’s me 😐. My partner works full time as a social worker and i don’t work due to my psychical/mental health conditions. I find it hard most days to get up and do the household chores even going out in public to the shops or dinner with my partner 😐. I know i have social anxiety/depression it comes and goes sometimes lasting months on end. I feel so upset for my partner to have to go through all this with me 😢 But she tells me everyday things will be ok and that it’s her and i against the world 🙂 which gives me hope and the will power to keep soldiering on 🙂. I guess all I’m trying to say is keep being that positive support person 😁

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Rarra
    Rarra avatar
    11 posts
    22 October 2020
    This thread is so helpful, and full of great little ideas! Really makes me think of the whole medication vs self-help debate. Over the last few years I have stopped taking my antidepressants several times without consulting a doctor (I am aware that this is like medication rule # 1 broken), and each time after a few weeks found myself spiralling (SHOCK!) and feeling sorry for myself. I've come to realise that medication helps my stability and gives me the space to explore these little self-soothing techniques and brain training tricks. I guess its quite easy to fall into a lazy pattern and stop working on myself when the medication is doing its job and i cannot foresee the next dark day. In the future, I would like to come off them (with the help of my doctor) and feel confident in my ability to soothe myself, and I'm pretty confident with the help of these forums that I can one day :)
    1 person found this helpful

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