I am sorry that this has happened to you but just wanted to let you know that we all are human...we all make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. It is not fair that you were laughed at, I am sure those people have made mistakes...even big ones too. 40 days is a long time, but you are doing the right thing, just getting through what you have to.
I also have major depression, it took me a long time to find the right treatment. Now I have some pretty good treatment, is there anything or anyone else you can try to help? You just may have not found the right treatment for yourself yet.
I hope things get better for you. I also hope the 40 days go fast. I wish you the best of luck.