Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own!

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community and have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

  • share on Facebook
  • share on Twitter
  • Print page

Topic: Struggling again

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. i'mbadwithnames
    i'mbadwithnames avatar
    10 posts
    2 August 2020

    If you don't know from my previous posts, I am living in Victoria and moving interstate due to loss of job opportunity because of lockdown.

    I have the approval to move back, but as you all know, COVID is constantly getting worse in Vic as people are too selfish to stay inside and isolate. I have been isolating since the beginning of March and it is really ticking me off that so many selfish people are ruining it for everyone. I am on an inhaler and have lung issues so if I were to catch it, it could cause major issues, more than usual.

    My issue stems from the fact that I am completely alone in Victoria. Pretty much everything is packed except a few things outside my room, but my foot is twice the size due to all the standing and walking up and down the stairs in my house taking things to the tip or getting rid of furniture ect. I can barely walk but I have to as I have more stuff to take the tip and pack, which is only going to make the pain worse. My only family down here are being incredibly selfish and won't help me or give me any support at all. My family back home are all telling me what to do but not helping me at all or telling me how to do all of these things they expect from me, with the excuse "You're an adult, figure it out yourself". I have never ever done anything like this before and was not taught how, itsn't that your job? Aren't you stupposed to teach me, and help me when I stumble? Isn't that what family are supposed to do? You brought me into this world, I didn't choose it, you're supposed to help me live. My housemates are being awful as usual, and actually cancelled the lease without consulting me (I'm not on the lease because they broke the law, long story) and now I need to be out within 2 weeks. If I am not, I will be living out of my car while all of my stuff is on route interstate.

    I have approval to get through the border, but I have no way to get to the airport because again, selfish family are the only people I know. I would usually catch public transport but SkyBus is cancelled and public transport when the virus is at its worst? Not a good idea. Flights are also few and far between.

    I am depressed and scared and stressed and alone and I just want the stress to end. I want COVID to end. I'm so sick of this. My friends are still helping me but honestly I just feel numb. I feel like I don't actually feel anything at all. My anxiety is through the roof and I have nothing to help combat it.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    2708 posts
    2 August 2020 in reply to i'mbadwithnames
    Hi i'mbadwithnames,

    It definitely sounds like things have been really stressful for you and I can understand why you would be feeling so frustrated with everything that's been going on, especially with feeling abandoned and unsupported by the people that you would also want to be able to rely on. 

    It's good to hear that despite all of this, you've been able to receive a little help from your friends, even with all these other difficult things going on. I hope that you'll be able to get some rest tonight, and you might also want to consider having a look through our 'Coping during the coronavirus outbreak' thread for some further support and tips to further manage these feelings of anxiety.
  3. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    413 posts
    2 August 2020

    Hi i'mbadwithnames,

    WOW!!! It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. What you describe sounds super difficult. I am sorry to hear of your stress and your job loss and having to move house during this incredibly challenging time. The COVID experience for many people results in symptoms of grief and loss on top of all the disruptions of restritions. These symptoms can include shock, denial, anger, feelings of sadness and sometimes feelings of acceptance. These stages of grief come in waves and occur in no particular order.

    It is positive to hear that your friends are still providing with your some support. I wonder if they can help you get back home? When family takes a backseat in supporting you, it can really hurt. I hope you find some support once you get home and that things turn around for you. You have identified quite a few big stressors: (1) job loss (2) moving house (3) difficulty with family relations (4) surviving a global pandemic. When you line these up, it is expected that you are feeling stressed with so much going on. If you need someone to talk this out with, don't hesitate to call Beyond Blue's COVID19 support number 1800 512 348

    If you feel comfortable, and it helps, please keep posting here. We are listening and the forum community can offer support as much as you need. I wish you the very best in your move back home. You are not alone.

    Sending your strength and safety,

    Nurse Jenn

  4. i'mbadwithnames
    i'mbadwithnames avatar
    10 posts
    3 August 2020 in reply to i'mbadwithnames

    With the announcement of Stage 4 lockdown today, I cannot take anything to the tip as they are all more than 5km away, I cannot sell any of my furniture becayse everyone is more than 5km away, and even my work is more than 5km away (I think I can still go to that though).

    I'm just so stressed and confused and upset, I have no idea how I am going to do this all alone with such a strict lockdown that I literally cannot do anything.

    My housemates who are awful and have been verbally and emotionally abusive towards me the whole time I have been here have cancelled the lease already and I have to be completely out within 2 weeks even in the strictest lockdown Victoria has. They did this because I called them out on ganging up on me, and they know I have nowhere to go and no money so they moved as they have full time jobs and can afford to move easily.

    So basically, I will have to send my stuff to Queensland and then likely live out of my car until the lockdown lifts and I can fly home.

    I'm just so stressed and confused and upset and I don't know what to do. I told my mum about Stage 4 lockdown today and how I'm going to be living out of my car and she said "Okay I'm going to clean the backyard pool bye" and I just feel so alone and confused and scared. I'm not old enough and don't have enough life experience to deal with this alone, I graduated univeristy only like 6 months ago!

    This lockdown is killing me, my housemates are being rude and actively excluding me, and I can't get anything done even if I somehow work up the energy because of the limitations. There is literally nothing I can do except wait to be homeless and live out of my car.

  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    13063 posts
    3 August 2020 in reply to i'mbadwithnames

    Hello I'mbadwithnames, and pleased Sophie_M and Nurse Jenn have replied back to you and now this is a year no one had ever anticipated or even contemplated and could never be prepared, one way or another.

    It has certainly made our life to be restricted, difficult and complicated in what and how we are able to function, nothing we have ever experienced before, as such, but it still does make us feel sorry for the situation you're in.

    When you have intentions in mind but unable to follow through with them, especially in Victoria, (but not forgetting all the other states), only makes us wonder, what's going to happen tomorrow'.

    I'm also in Victoria and now stage 4 has been enforced, I'm not sure if this information will be valid or not, but worth a try.

    If you can google 'Crisis & emergency accommodation', then call 1800 825 955, it's a free 24 hour line and if available do have flats/houses already furnished for people who are desperate for accommodation.

    Anglicare have the same option but you need to ring them and we would love you to follow up with us.

    One bright point, if that's possible, is that you are not named on the lease, so if any damage and/or rent arrears need to be rectified, you won't need to contribute.

    Best wishes.


Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Sign me up