Welcome here, I'm glad Sophie_M has already talked to you and pointed out some of the places you can contact if you get overwhelmed. Please don't be shy about using them, they are after all there specifically for you. There is comfort in a sensible human voice.
The Suicide Call Back Service Sophie mentions is my favorite as I can talk more than one,without having to repeat myself, and can even ask for the same staff member if they are on shift. You do not have to be right at crisis point before you ring, they will listen and offer advice anyway.
A couple of things:
The first being if you are not deriving enough benefit from your treatment - and you sound very much like you are not, then I strongly suggest you have a long consultation with your doctor and discuss options, including looking at your medication and possibly also therapy.
Also I was wondering why you wife was asking you abut your feelings then throwing them in your face.
I guess there are many reasons for her asking, the most common being straight concern, and if things are thrown back that might be due to a lack of understanding, frustration, or not knowing what to say or do.
A common one is 'you have a good life, you should not feel bad?'
So may I ask you why you think your wife does this?
If it is a case of not understanding as she has never had a similar experience can I suggest you have a read of the THE FACTS Menu at the top of every page
As I do not know the nature of your mental illness I'm not able to point you at a specific set of pages. However if you read though you will find what is familiar; its causes, signs, and treatments, even how to talk with others.
You may well find exactly what you need, and if your wife is moved by concern letting her to read them too may help her understand your situation and know what to do.
So please do come back and say what is on your mind