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Topic: An old childhood friend took his own life

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Garebear289
    Garebear289 avatar
    1 posts
    30 November 2021

    Hey, I'm Gare-Bear. Happy to be here :)

    I'm new to these forums and felt I needed to share a bit of my grief.

    This is a heavy post, involving suicide.

    Two weeks ago, a close friend from my days in Primary School took his own life. I hadn't heard from this individual for a few years, as we naturally drifted apart after school.

    I remember hearing about his death late at night. I had just got inside to my apartment after playing basketball. My dad called, told me the news. My mum later took hold of the phone, hearing her cry was hard. She was absolutely devastated. To make matters sadder, my friend's nephew, was staying with my parents at the time as well.

    I was shocked and didn't know how to feel. I drove to my parents immediately and made sure they and my friend's nephew were alright.

    The grief wasn't immediate for me. It's been slow, and I experience the occasional sadness and melancholy from time to time. I let my close friends know within a few days of the incident, and they've been supportive of me. I've found focusing on my work, spending time with friends and having fun has helped.

    Back in primary school, my friend had introduced me to basketball funnily enough, so hearing about his passing after playing the game was kind of poetic in a sad way. He was also planning to catch up with me, my family and his nephew together.

    I've been reminiscing of my childhood alongside him from time to time, and I'm always going to remember his mischievous, cunning, and calm and collected personality.

    I'm in a really good space now, and my family has been well since then. I'm going to honour his memory going forward, and might start a photography project down the line as it's something I enjoy doing.

    If you are thinking about suicide, please know from me, who now has lost a good friend, that it's not worth it. Help and support will always be there for you thanks to places like beyond blue, lifeline and other services.

    Thanks for reading.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    6816 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to Garebear289
    Hi Garebear289,

    So sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing it here and for being part of our forums. It takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out and we are so glad that you have done so. The community will be here to listen and chat with you.

    For further support you can also reach out to:
    - Stanby Support After Suicide 1300 727 247
    -Griefline 1300 845 745 
    - Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16441 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to Garebear289

    Hello Garebear, our thoughts are with you on this unfortunate occasion and when someone decides to do this, they feel locked in, unable to reach out for help, fearing that nobody will recognise how they are feeling, but there are people they can talk to, who will know what they are saying and the situation they are currently in.

    They need to realise that another person has been in this exact position and has been able to overcome how they feel, because there is always a solution to every problem, it's just they need help to talk with these people, whether it's a one on one basis or perhaps a group of people who are suffering from any type of depression.

    My condolences.

    Geoff.

  4. Positive_vibes89
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Positive_vibes89  avatar
    137 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to Garebear289

    Very sorry that you have lost a good friend. Suicide is a really hard thing to process. I knew somone who ended their life and it took some time for me to come to terms with it. It was a really huge shock. Getting help might be difficult for some people or help just does not work for them. There are many reasons why a person chooses to take their own lif, like Geoff has mentioned.

    Im glad you are in a good place at the moment but If you feel that you are struggling please seek out some phone support as per Sophie's suggestion. It is very heart-warming that you are honouring your friend's memory and how he made a positive impact on your life.

  5. Learn to Fly
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Learn to Fly avatar
    342 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to Garebear289

    Hi Garebear289

    Thank you for your post.
    I am very sorry for the loss of your good friend. Thank you for posting your story as the focus is mainly and naturally mainly on people who are suicidal. However, being left behind as a family member or a friend can be absolutely devastating. Everyone should remember about it as this is literally something that lots will have to live with to the rest of their lives.

    Take a good care of yourself. Thinking of you.

  6. Banksy92
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Banksy92 avatar
    293 posts
    30 November 2021

    Very sorry to hear of your loss Garebear289, thankyou for sharing your story with us.

    We welcome you warmly to the forums. It's a wonder, supportive and safe safe for everyone to share, ask questions and learn from one another.

    I know grief can be a really different experience for us all, but I think it's lovely you're able to look back on fond memories you have of your friend and post a supportive message like this to help people see how suicide can impact those around you.

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