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Topic: Best Friend of 21 years passed away

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. destiny
    destiny avatar
    4 posts
    10 March 2020
    I recently lost my best friend of 21 years after a long battle with cancer. My friendship with her had plenty of ups and downs but we always found our way back to each other. I have bipolar disorder and for awhile I pushed everyone away including her. After about 2 years I finally reach out to her again and our friendship picked straight back up like we never spent any time apart. I spent her final year speaking every single day and I was last friend around when her final weeks came. I spent her last day out of hospital with her and was her final text message. Now she's gone and I feel so alone. I might sound crazy, but I always thought I'd get some sort of sign from her after she passed, but nothing. I'm so glad she's finally cancer free and pain free. I feel like I'm never going to have a close friend again. How am I supposed to make new friends without comparing to what I had. I keep thinking I'm going to get a text or a call from her any day now. I don't know how to move on from crying every night.
  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    4132 posts
    11 March 2020 in reply to destiny

    Hi destiny and welcome to beyond blue.

    I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I can see the relationship was a special one for you both. The thoughts you are having I would natural given the length you were close friends. The other thing to remember is that everyone will have their own expression of grieving and will have its own length of time.

    when making new friends you would likely compare them to what you had ... it would also depend on what you want from new relationship(s) - a new best friend? If so, again, the comparisons would be natural.

    Do you have anyone that are able to talk about these thought you are having?

    One thing that you could do in relation to your friend who passed away is to find some way to continue to the bond with them - perhaps photos, writing a letter, etc.

    Finally, there is also the option of professional support if needed - someone that you can talk through the thoughts and feelings you are having and finding ways to move forwards, which does not mean forgetting the relationship you had, but something else.

    Peace with you,


  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    7690 posts
    11 March 2020 in reply to destiny


    welcome to the forum. I am, sorry for the loss of your best friend.

    A best friend is very important and I can feel your grief and loss through your words.

    feel she will live in your memories.

    It is very early days and everyone grieves in their own way.

    t will take time to make friends.

    I found writing a letter to someone who died and telling them what was happening in my life, really helped me.

    t is natural to be crying, and it will help you,

    Would you consider talking to a grief counsellor.?

    Thanks again for sharing your story.

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