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Topic: Break up and death

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. GrievingGirl
    GrievingGirl avatar
    4 posts
    17 October 2019

    I’m not really sure what to say or why I’m here.

    I’m struggling a lot. My boyfriend and I ended out three year relationship (amicably) on Sunday. We just weren’t the one for each other. Regardless he was my best friend and the one I always sought support and comfort from. I left at 9pm Sunday night.

    9am Monday morning, 12 hours later, I took my precious 10 year old cat to the vet for a check up. I only recused her two months prior but she was a shining life changing beacon and lit up my whole life. 10 minutes into the appointment the vet told me she had aggressive cancer, was in significant pain and suffering, and there was nothing to be done for her. It was completely unexpected. I held her in my arms while she took her last breath and let her go that morning.

    I knew my boyfriend and I would break up that weekend. We had both planned it and wanted to spend quality time together to just enjoy the good parts before we went out separate ways. I had no idea my little cat was unwell and I would have to end her life that morning. It was 12 hours only after breaking up. It hurts because if it has been 12 hours earlier my best friend would have been there with me and comforted me and supported me through the grief. But we broke up so he’s not. I told him what had happened and he was sorry but didn’t want to be involved or change things.

    Im struggling ALOT to just function. Eating, drinking, using the toilet, sleeping, socialising, thinking. Life just seems completely and utterly impossible.

    I don’t have a lot of friends and don’t have family aside from my mum, who lives interstate. She’s helping as just as she can but I’m just so lost and feel alone in this grief. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be grieving, my beautiful cat who was my family, or the loss of my relationship.

    I don’t really know what to expect here. Am i overreacting and being too dramatic?

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    23 October 2019 in reply to GrievingGirl

    Hi GrievingGirl,

    I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your cat. The human bond with our non-human animal friends is very special. Your cat was clearly someone very important to you. I can feel your love and hence the depths of your loss...she was a true companion...

    Then on top of that, you were already grieving the end of a relationship. Even if it did end amicably, hearts still break...it was a double loss...I’m so sorry...

    I feel your loneliness. It must be so lonely without your beautiful cat, and without your ex’s support...

    I know everyone grieves in their own way, so the process might be different for each of us. But, I do think there’s something to be said for emotional support (or even social support) during these times...I know your mum is interstate, but I wonder if you could call her. I wonder if that’s something your open to...

    Also, you mentioned a couple of friends. I wonder if maybe you could take a chance and reach out to them. I’m not sure how close you are, and it’s a bit of a risk sometimes, but sometimes friends can be great wells of support. Or even if it’s not necessarily support, but just having people to spend time with can help, etc... having some company can be healing...

    I’m thinking of you and I’m very sorry about this late reply. I hope you’re still reading...

    Kindness and care,


  3. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    23 October 2019 in reply to GrievingGirl

    Hi GrievingGirl,

    Sorry, I just discovered that you have another thread with a similar opening post. The thread is called, Relationship ended 12 hours later lost my best friend (cat).

    I’m happy that you have already been receiving support there, so I’m thinking it might be easier if everyone posts on the other thread (seeing as multiple people have already replied there).

    It might be easier for you to follow too; it would save you from going back and forth...I hope that’s okay :)


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