Hi Polly, welcome
Anyone with empathy would feel very sad reading your post.
Im 64yo and lost my dad in 1992, he was 64 then.
With grief there isn’t much room to move with relieving the sorrow. But there is some ideas that can help, sometimes.
Writing- be it poetry or a short story that documents your memories. It doesn’t have to be professional. Eg this is one poem of many that I’ve written
DADS PRINT (to dad)
Dad knew I’d try to follow
where ever he went – in his footsteps
through his pride and boyish whim
I always tried to follow him
And on Sundays a few hours spare
I be his shadow for the day to care
Boy behind his dad so tall
He never minded, not at all
Then as life cut so short
I wish to follow as my last resort
No wonder he used a broom to sweep
To hide his stencilled footstep feet
But now and then I see a print
Where he’s been in the misty tint
Like a ghostly outline of a soul
I place my foot inside the hole
Sadness follows in my inept
It just something I must accept
But I be eager the day my feet will greet
My father’s footstep stencilled feet….
Distraction- keep busy
Special times- put aside an hour every weekend so you can just think about him
Talk- friends, family, group therapy, forum
Dedication- set aside a small garden bed and plant roses or other plants in memory of your dad.
I hope I’ve helped. Please feel free to reply