Grief...people are very limited as to advising how to reduce it. But, having lost my wonderful dad in 1992, I do have some ideas.
Time, seconds, hours, days are man made. One day is one revolution of our earth but we are the ones that divided that up into 24 hours.
My point is, if we made the hours and months etc and we made father and mothers day...if we get that into perspective these special days have less significance. All it means is the earth at the same spot in respect to the sun.
In fact what I do is my grief ebbs and flows regardless of the day. Special days like birthdays, anniversaries and fathers days etc are just like any other day.
My brother suicided in 1979, my uncle in 2002. My sister is distraught on my brothers birthday. I'm not. He was an Elvis fan I play Elvis songs when I miss him-any day.
My neighbours son passed away by car accident. His son grew roses. My neighbour took cuttings and grew his roses to make a garden in his honour.
People distressed enough to take their lives wont be coherent, they wont think logically. They are sadly not focused on such topics.
Choose a person to walk you down the aisle. It will be an honour for someone to fill his shoes for the day. Be the bride your dad would love you to be. Continue to be the mum he loved in you.
Those steps that lead to the church
Are built for you and dad
Your fathers arm is ready for your hand
And you might think it's sad
But although his steps continued on
While yours stopped at the door
He'll be their watching you
He will never ignore
He wasnt able to say goodbye
But his mind was somewhat blue
Rest assured he'll be there with you
When you say "I do"