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Topic: Dying Ex Husband

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. grt123
    grt123 avatar
    56 posts
    17 December 2019
    I've been separated nearly two years from a man with PTSD and major depression. Despite every opportunity to recover he seemed determined to destroy himself and everything around him. He wouldn't cooperate with doctors or treatment, blamed me and others for all his troubles and doggedly pursued a destructive lifestyle. In the last year we were together I couldn't shake the feeling that someone, somehow was going to die. I thought it would be me or the kids - his behaviour was just so appalling and reckless - but as it turns out he simply killed himself; a few months ago he was diagnosed with end stage liver disease. He won't have more than a few months. Here's the rub: Obviously he's sober now, and that makes a difference, but he's also coming back back to the man I used to love. Kind, funny, sweet and caring. It's like a weight has lifted off him and he's dropped his anger and hate and is just living for the moment. I drove him back from a medical appointment recently and we laughed, told stories and talked about the kids. Compare that to a few months ago when I refused to take him anywhere in the car out of fear he'd run us into a tree or under a truck - he was that bad. I don't love him anymore but God I feel sorry for him. If only he could have learned this lesson earlier, opened his heart and mind to recovery, he could have spared us all so much heartache. Right now he could have had family and friends around him to hold his hand and tell him they love him but he's lost it all. It's just so sad.
    2 people found this helpful
  2. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
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    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    707 posts
    17 December 2019 in reply to grt123

    Hi there. Thanks for sharing your story. Mental illness certainly takes a lot from us. I know that from personal experience. I hope you're able to take care of yourself during this period, as no doubt it will bring up many emotions for you.

    Kind thoughts, Katy

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Birdy77
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    Birdy77 avatar
    2242 posts
    17 December 2019 in reply to grt123
    Dear grt123,

    You must be feeling such a complex mix of emotions right now.

    But the laughter and conversation you shared in the car recently will be a really precious memory for you i think, down the track.

    You have been through a lot with his stubbornness and addiction, but now that it is coming to the end, he is dropping the anger, his mortality is perhapssobering him up in more ways than one.

    I know the love has gone, but the remaining time he has could be a healing time for you all? I hope so.

    You are always welcome here to talk about your feelings or whatever is helpful for you.

    1 person found this helpful

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