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Topic: Family death

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. John1232
    John1232 avatar
    2 posts
    2 April 2020

    Hi All,

    My mum died on Monday and I need some support

  2. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    8908 posts
    2 April 2020 in reply to John1232

    Dear John1232~

    Welcome here, this is a place where a fair few, myself included, have had to face the death of someone who was a special part of their lives. It's particularly hard with a parent, they hold such a special place and have always been part of one's world up till now.

    I learned they remain part of one's life, the fact they have departed does not mean they not are still part of you, they are. To start with I could not imagine anything but feeling loss and grief for ever.

    Now I remember all the times together, some good, some bad, but they will always be part of me, and sometimes I even smile as I enjoy the recollection of us together laughing together at something silly.

    Would you like to talk about things ? I know it's hard, but what would you like to say abut your mum, not necessarily just at the end, though that's a big part of it at the moment. Later perhaps of times you had together that were good.

    I'd also like to ask if you live alone, or are part of a family, and if so how the others are getting on, do they need your help?

    I know this is only a short response to one of the biggest events you ever have to face, but I'm listening, I understand, and would sit with you for a while

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    7688 posts
    3 April 2020 in reply to John1232

    Welcome John to the forum.

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum.

    My mum died nearly 19 years ago and I still miss her.

    Your grief will be so raw and you will be feeling confused. Give yourself time. Do what feels right for you.

    Croix has written a compassionate reply and I echo his words.

    You are not alone and there is support here when you are ready,

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Quercus
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Quercus avatar
    3497 posts
    3 April 2020 in reply to John1232

    Hi John,

    Croix and Quirky have said it all really. I just wanted to be here for you too. Not sure how I can help but grieving alone hurts.

    My friend died very recently also. The restrictions/changes to funerals because of coronavirus have left me feeling lost. It made me worried about you. Losing your Mum is painful enough without adding these extra stresses.

    How are you holding up John?

    I found this article last night and it helped me realise the confusion I'm feeling on top of grief is common lately. We're taught certain ways to cope with loss and at the moment we can't do this. It's ok if you don't want to read it though.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/love-online/202003/coping-death-during-pandemic

    I'm sorry you're hurting. We're happy to listen if you want to talk.

    Nat

  5. rachealw
    rachealw avatar
    6 posts
    17 April 2020 in reply to John1232

    Dear John,

    I"m sorry for the passing of you mum. Words are unspeakable right now i can imagine. The feelings that come with loss of a loved one is pain no one would ever want to feel.

    I wish i had the right words you needed. I'm going through a grieving time myself but i want to say that you should feel proud that you've reached for support. That's something i admire a lot in people. I hope one day you can find the comfort you need no matter how long it takes. Keep strong John

    Kind Regards

    1 person found this helpful

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