Hi Tradie Lady
Firstly welcome, it is so hard to manage to write a post and I wanted to say that it is so great that you have reached out to get some help and support during this time.
Grief is so fierce and comes in waves and effects everyone so very differently that it is really hard to say what the right way to go through this process is, but it is a process and you will get through this time. I am somewhat coming out the other side of grief at the moment so I can empathize with the feelings of pain, of sadness, or totally helplessness and anger that you could not do anything, the unanswered questions. It really is so tough and it totally consumes you.
I didn't lose a pet but my brother who died by suicide just 6 months ago, so the shock and the unpreparedness if that is the word I am looking for, is just so great, you were not ready for this, you didn't have time to get used to the idea that he was sick, it just came and hit you over the back of the head, that is the hard part too.
I am so very sorry for your loss and it is heartbreaking when your key support has now gone, and on top of going through IVF which I can only imagine is an emotional journey also. You have so much on your plate and I am so very sorry that you are going through this pain.
I think sitting with it and allowing yourself to cry and to acknowledge that you are hurting is so very helpful. Take the time you need, do not let anyone tell you how to do this, you will find your way and what works for you is what you should do. I did find writing helpful however, just to purge on some paper and get it all out and to let the emotion and the feelings out, that really was good.
I hope you have someone you can call to chat with or to have a coffee with and sit and just remember your beautiful dog, the role he played in your life and to let these feelings out.
We are here to support you through this time and to chat and to provide you with some comfort Tradie Lady.
My heartfelt condolences to you and I am so very sorry.
Hugs to you