Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own!

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community and have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

  • share on Facebook
  • share on Twitter
  • Print page

Topic: I lost my mum this year

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. KatLady1
    KatLady1 avatar
    1 posts
    30 October 2021
    I lost my mum this year due to cancer. I am struggling with the fact I didnt get more time with her. I wasnt there when i should of been. I was too focused in my own issues to be there with family. how do i cope with that regret and guilt of not being there
  2. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2138 posts
    30 October 2021 in reply to KatLady1

    Hi KatLady1,

    Wellcome to our forums and I’m so sorry for your loss I understand it would be difficult for you..

    Try to forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now.

  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9781 posts
    30 October 2021 in reply to KatLady1

    Hi, welocme

    I'm saddened for your loss. The grief period is something none of us can assist with for the first little while but when you feel the urge to move on a little then distraction is the way to go. Fill everyday with hobbies, sports, interests etc. Of course set aside times to reflect on your mum again then back into distraction.

    I lost my beaut dad 29 years ago and it still effects me. A rose in the corner of my property reminds me of him, so a rose garden might help. Yet my wife lost her mum this year that was staying with us, her father 4 days later and her step dad all in 2021. So I know what you are feeling.

    I hope you can distract yourself and maybe build a rose garden or the plants she loved, however you do it is up to you.

    Google-

    Youtube prem rawat maharaji sunset

    And many more of his videos. It might help open the floodgates which can help.

    TonyWK

  4. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    14722 posts
    30 October 2021 in reply to KatLady1

    KatLady1

    I am sorry for your loss.

    When one loses a parent there are so many regrets and emotions.

    . My dad and mum died over 14 years and 20 years ago respectively.

    I struggled too as Ididnt visit my dad as much as I wished I was had because I lived 7 hrs away by bus.

    I was so annoyed at myself and felt guilty . I would also reflect on all the the times I has argued with him. We loved each other but we were both obstinate. I felt so wretched

    until some one suggested I may try focusing on the positives rather than regretting on what I can’t change.

    Aftter a while I tried to focus on all the great times we had together.

    I wrote letters to him on the computer and it helped me to express how I was feeling.

    There is no use by time for grief. the first year and especially the first 6 months is so hard as one adjust to not having a parent in ones life.

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up