Welcome to the Healthy Families forums!

This is a space to ask questions, share experiences and support each other. Find a relevant thread or start your own!

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community and have a read of the community rules. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

  • share on Facebook
  • share on Twitter
  • Print page

Topic: It takes more then time to heal some things

10 posts, 0 answered
  1. Uncleal
    Uncleal avatar
    4 posts
    27 September 2019
    Ok, I have a medical condition, then suffered a stroke and have
    developed osteo arthritis in most of my joints. Depression and anxiety is always with me. One constant through all this has been my 2 year old dog. A small blue Chihuahua, she was very important and helped me through hard times, she had a great personality,
    Well 7 days ago I found out she had kidney disease and they stopped working. she passed away 3 days ago. She left a hole in my life thats filling with depression, im trying each day to crawl out of this mental depressive hole but get pulled back into it as there are triggers all around me.
    Is there anyone out there who can show me how to fight this problem,
    1 person found this helpful
  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    13383 posts
    28 September 2019 in reply to Uncleal

    Hello Uncleal, can I offer you a warm welcome to the forums and my sincere condolences for the unfortunate events that you have had to go through, especially for the loss of your little Chihuahua.

    I'm deeply sorry for not knowing what I should mention first, simply because I've lost small dogs I've also loved and have osteoarthritis but not suffered from a stroke, so much has happened for you to try and cope with.

    Your stroke is devastating and would like to know how you are recovering from this, and your Chihuahua must have been a terrible shock for this to happen so suddenly, I feel the pain you are going through.

    When I had to put my 18 year old Jack Russell down, I had a relapse and it put me back into depression, so I know what anguish you are suffering from, and although I had another JR it still took me a couple of weeks to overcome this relapse.

    Can you please let me know what is going on at the moment.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Gelati
    Gelati avatar
    80 posts
    28 September 2019 in reply to Uncleal

    Dear Uncleal. How are you feeling today?

    I know the devastation of losing a beloved animal companion. When I lost my golden retriever when he was nearly 16 in 2007 I cried like never before, and I found there just wasn’t a great support network out there, as not everyone has pet and can feel your pain. I still miss by boy 12 years later.

    But I think more and more these days there is recognition of the hardship one can go through losing a pet, and the richness that pets bring to our lives.

    I did a quick google search just now and it looks like there is a small number of Australian based pet loss support lines you could call. Also, have you considered giving the BeyondBlue hotline a call just to have a chat? I think often having the opportunity to get stuff off your chest, even if all the other person does is listens, can do wonders.

    Also, if you ever find yourself caught up in sad thoughts for your little friend, have you read the story of Rainbow Bridge? It’s a beautiful snippet of what animals face when they leave their beloved families behind on earth. It makes me feel better when I read it. A simple google search will find it.

    I don’t know how best to help you, but I hope you can keep active and maintain human ties (be it family, friends, etc) during this difficult time. While I know from experience - when feeling sad - that it is tempting to stay at home in your own company, I think some fresh air, sunlight and just some little catch ups with others could be wonderful for you.

    Could you check in some time soon to let us know how you’re travelling?

    Thinking of you. Big hugs.

    And Geoff - all the best for the big game today!

    2 people found this helpful
  4. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    6313 posts
    28 September 2019 in reply to Uncleal

    Dear Uncleal

    Welcome to the forum. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Chihuahua. It's good you have found your way here and asked for support. I know many people dismiss our sadness when a pet dies because "It's only a dog". This grief is the same as we feel for our human family and friends and can take as long to heal. I have said goodbye to many cats and dogs and other pets as they unfortunately do not live as long as us. Doesn't make any difference to how much we hurt. I know someone who has a service dog which may be retiring soon. I know my friend is already sad about this anticipated loss.

    There is no no quick way to get over a loss such as this. I presume you have photos of her. Keep them displayed and talk to her now and then. It's not being crazy, though some may think so. My sister wrote a poem about her dog when he died. It showed how much she loved and missed him and I think gave her some relief from her hurt. Perhaps you can write some poetry or the story of your pet's life and how much you loved her. These sorts of activities can help you to heal although they also make you cry at the time. Tears can be healing.

    Gelati referred to the story of the rainbow bridge which you can read here. https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm

    Your hurt will fade over time but you will always remember your friend and the wonderful times you had together.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful
  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    13383 posts
    29 September 2019 in reply to Gelati

    Hello Gelati, thanks for your reply to Uncleal, and also for your kind thoughts.

    Geoff.

  6. Uncleal
    Uncleal avatar
    4 posts
    29 September 2019

    Hi Geoff, Gelati and White Rose
    Thanks for your kind words, knowing that other people have read my post makes a difference so once again thanks.

    I thought I had posted a long winded response but it must have been cut out


  7. Uncleal
    Uncleal avatar
    4 posts
    1 October 2019
    Thanks everyone, I finally took the time to look at rainbow bridge. I didnt realise how big it was, its helped out a lot
    Regards uncleal
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Philomena
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Philomena avatar
    30 posts
    5 October 2019 in reply to Uncleal

    Hi Uncleal

    i understand your grief. Losing something you hold dear is not easy to forget. Hope you are feeling better now after your stroke.

    The pain of the grief may not go away so easily . Be strong.

  9. Uncleal
    Uncleal avatar
    4 posts
    6 October 2019
    Hi all, the urn was delivered the other day, broke down in tears again. Its been over two weeks since she died. My motivation had stopped, and i cant think beyond tomorrow. Spoke to a counsellor and answered my own question. My grief could have been increased because of the stroke and medical stuff as well
  10. Philomena
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Philomena avatar
    30 posts
    9 October 2019 in reply to Uncleal

    Hi uncleal

    The pain of the grief can never be taken away no matter what anyone may say. You will need to feel and express the pain in order to start processing the loss.

    I am a bereavement support worker and I think you should talk about the deceased and their memory with someone you trust. Someone who can listen be open without being judgemental.

    You will need to accept the reality of the grief that’s important take part in a memorial service in honour of the deceased maybe. And have an enduring connection with the deceased though not present in heart and mind by memories and biographies and try to develop new skills and new friends get involved in activities.

    Grief has many emotional and physical reactions too which will be there you may feel sad, angry, denial, numb, fear, loneliness and also at times headaches, body pain, sweating, breathless, shaking these are some of the emotional factors you may feel.

    Talk to someone whom you feel cares and whom you feel comfortable to share your feelings.

    Be strong .

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up