Hello Generic name
I am so very sorry for the loss of your father and that you are not there to be with your family at this time also, this is really devastating and adds to much more pain to an already horrific feeling of despair, if that is possible.
I too have lost a member of my family to suicide, I too came here to look for answers, while I didn't find the answers to the questions I started asking, I found so much more. This forum, right here, doing what you are doing is a wonderful place to start. Welcome and I am just so very sorry that you too have this burning pain.
I will try to answer some of the questions you have put here..from my learnings and from what I have experienced, it may not be true for you. You mentioned the very same things as me, all the reasons your dear father "should" have had to stay, he had friends, more than you as you said, he was a good man, he was loved and the hardest one to manage..there were no signs. From what I have learnt about suicide it is mostly not what is going on externally in a person's life, although this can have a huge impact, it is the internal dialogue. Feeling of worthlessness, feeling they are a burden, feeling that this world and the people they love would be better off without them and their pain and their 'hassles". This is the face of depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses that distort ones thinking and feeling so very much that reality does not come into play.
I am very sure your father knew he was loved, that he knew he had great friends and a wonderful family. You are not to blame here and you are also not to blame for "not knowing" that your father was struggling. How do we help someone when there is no reason to ask "Are you ok?". How do we know there is pain inside a person when the mask of ill mental health is worn so well, to make it look like "everything is fine". You would not put a cast on an arm that is not broken, why would you ask a person who "seems to have it all" if they are ok.
I hope you can reach out to get some grief counselling, this was where I learnt about my confusion and my horrible thoughts and even blame, and learnt to see suicide for what it is, to become educated to know it was not our fault and to know that there is healing and that we will feel better..just a little bit but we will laugh again and smile again and remember our loved one with joy.
I am so very sorry you too are on this journey but we are here for you.
Hope to chat some more