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Topic: Losing My Dad

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Layne Smith
    Layne Smith  avatar
    1 posts
    27 May 2020
    Hi, my name's Layne, last year I lost my dad a week before his birthday, he passed from pneumonia. He pretty much raised me, i was and still not close with my mum, I currently live in Sydney whilst he lived in New Zealand, so going home has been hard, I've only been home twice since he left, a day before his funeral and 1 year after, I feel like I'm the only one who's grieving, my family act as if his passing meant nothing, I tear up every time i see a photo of him, I avoid talking about him because i get emotional, i can't talk my family about how I feel because I feel like noone is listening, Is there anything I can do to get over it?
  2. Tay100
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Tay100 avatar
    424 posts
    27 May 2020 in reply to Layne Smith

    Hi Layne Smith,

    Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. We know posting whilst grieving can be tough so we appreciate you reaching out.

    Please know that each grieving process is unique and valid- so you have every right to tear up the way you do. It can be really frustrating and distressing when you feel like you can't lean on the people around you to help you through or when they seem to not acknowledging what's goi on. You say you have tried talking to your family to no avail- have you got anyone close you can reach out too? We can chat in this thread too, if you like. If you are looking to reach out and seek advice about grieving healthily from people with similar ordeals, try this thread: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/grief-and-loss.

    Sending kindness your way,

    Tay100

  3. Anglo
    Anglo avatar
    2 posts
    27 May 2020 in reply to Layne Smith

    Hi Layne,

    While my father is still alive, he is dying before my eyes from terminal cancer and I know it's going to hurt when he dies as we are very close. When I had a very close family member killed in a car accident, it took me several years for the pain to finally pass, and I had no one to talk to about it because it was my close friend and this person was not close to anyone else that I knew, so I could not share my pain. My grief took many paths as I was not there in his moment of need, so I had to revisit my guilt many times to change my negative thinking so that I could feel good about my days by creating more positive thoughts such as 'He was not alone as if I could have been there I would have held his hand...' and when I see something that reminded me of him, instead of thinking he is gone...I would change it to, that reminds me of the fun day we spent together. Look at his photo and think of all the great times you had together instead of feeling bad, and don't worry about the others who pretend they don't care as their grief will catch up with them later. Your Dad was a lucky person to have such a caring child and your grief will pass with time.

    Take Care,

    Anglo.

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