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Topic: Lost my beautiful mother - panic/depression

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. betterdaysahead01
    betterdaysahead01 avatar
    2 posts
    3 August 2019
    Hi all, new here but never posted, actually signed up about two months ago because i was feeling down and not long after my mum suddenly passed away. Currently having counselling but craving to talk to people and share stories and connect. Helping helps, please tell me your story if you have lost your mum (she was 69). I'm coping, just. xx Best wishes to anyone going through loss, grief anxiety (i've started calling panic attacks "stress moments"), .I hate the words panic and attack! I know how horrible they are but lets at least make the words less scary. Hope I can help anyone in any possible way. Nicole.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8147 posts
    3 August 2019 in reply to betterdaysahead01

    Hi, welcome

    I'm so sorry for your loss. In my case it's my dad that I lost, he was 64 in 1992 when a heart attack took him from us.

    You are such a sweetheart, at the end of your post you said "Hope I can help anyone in any possible way". That tells me all about you are a person and the character of your beautiful mother. That fact has made my day as I love to talk to people like you.

    So, its been 27 years since I lost my dad. How have I coped? Well writing has been my savior, poetry mainly. My words to me make all the difference.

    You might have your own way of grieving. A neighbor lost his son and dedicated a rose garden for him, with roses from his own sons rose garden.

    Here is a poem I wrote for my dad. I have also got a poem on the second page that I wrote to a mum that lost two of her children but for today I will dedicate this to your mum.

    TO KISS HIS TEMPLE

    There were some things I knew as taboo
    to express my love but to question who?
    to touch the pale face of my dad back then
    when touching taboo...when "men were men"

    For boys were male and "you cant do that"
    jealous of my sister and that is that
    that man couldnt hug his son for how he was seen
    nowadays if you hugged your son- well, you'd be relieved.

    And so my dad the salt of the land
    wouldnt touch me even by hand
    he knew he loved me and I him
    with a wink of an eye from under his brim

    Then that day we all regret came along
    where watery eyes was met by song
    and there he lie with an eerie smile
    I be alone with him for just a while.

    As I stroked his forehead cool to touch
    I raised my head automatically as such
    to kiss his temple of which I dare
    I knew his mind was well aware.

    Of all the kisses I missed
    they gathered together in just one kiss
    finally as his spirit rose and went
    he left his love and hugs were spent

    I never craved again heart be blessed
    that tradition of males their love expressed
    a kiss on his forehead way back then
    ended an era when "men were men"....

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8147 posts
    3 August 2019 in reply to white knight

    THE HOUSE OF WAX

    He was busy with the pouring
    This old man’s name of Max
    So I toured his workplace while he toiled
    This holy house of wax

    There were inventors of a kind
    And starlets from the stage
    There were master minds of talent
    From another age

    There were heroes of the wars
    And leaders of a group
    There were figurines of wax
    From every allied troop


    I stopped to admire him work
    His name tag read just “Max”
    “You really are a marvel
    How you recreate with wax”

    I focused on his one off mould
    And marvelled when it set
    This figure of a lady
    That I’d recently had met

    Her arms were open wide
    as if about to fly
    I asked a simple question
    I asked a simple “why”?

    Because she is cradling her girls
    Even though you cannot see
    It is the stance she had
    When they were one and three

    He continued to work away
    As his making of a sign did end
    And I was in total awe
    Of a mirror image of my friend

    He rolled out the final cast
    To place at Shirley’s feet
    This house of wax curator
    That I was glad to meet

    He placed the sign just right
    This single cast of one
    The sign read appropriately
    “This is the perfect mum”

    TonyWK

    Feel free to repost. Thankyou.

    tonyWK


  4. betterdaysahead01
    betterdaysahead01 avatar
    2 posts
    4 August 2019 in reply to white knight
    Thanks White Knight, for the reply and poem. It sounds like you're a sensitive person as I am. Expressing myself if important, and still i'm crying my heart out everyday. I have on my to do list to write a poem, but all still a bit raw at the moment. I had to write a headstone tribute today - probably the hardest and saddest thing yet. I can't watch tv, read, can hardly finish a crossword as I have no concentration except for when I'm talking about mum! It's that old saying...time, time, time. Everyone's story is different, but pain and fear is the same in us all. Thanks again x
    1 person found this helpful
  5. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    8147 posts
    5 August 2019 in reply to betterdaysahead01

    Hi

    Mental puzzles will be difficult at this time, physical actions like walking, climbing, gym you'll find easier.

    You sound like a tender person and a wonderful daughter

    TonyWK

  6. Monique29
    Monique29 avatar
    2 posts
    3 February 2020
    I lost my mum on May 7/05/2019 she was only 57 i miss her so much still working out how to cope without her. Life has changed so much..
    1 person found this helpful
  7. fred2018
    fred2018 avatar
    68 posts
    2 May 2020 in reply to Monique29
    Monique, I can understand your pain of things changing so much without your mother. My mum passed in 2017 and its been a big shift in life. Sometimes its like life is a movie and one of the leads has gone.

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