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Topic: Lost my best friend my mum

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Rosiegirl93
    Rosiegirl93 avatar
    2 posts
    13 January 2020

    Hello

    im trying to grief for my mum who passed away June 2019

    I have to girls aged 4 & 2 and I have my supportive husband

    I really wanted to connected with anyone that is going through the same thing and help me through my dark days

  2. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    blondguy avatar
    894 posts
    14 January 2020 in reply to Rosiegirl93

    Hello Rosiegirl93

    Welcome to the forums and Im sorry that you havent had a reply yet. We are usually very quick in posting back

    I am bumping up your thread so others that are experiencing similar issues can provide some support. I lost my dad 4 years ago and it still hurts. I understand the pain you are going through

    My condolences for the loss of your mum Rosiegirl....and also for your daughters loss of their grandmother

    my kindest thoughts for you with your recent loss

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  3. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    902 posts
    14 January 2020 in reply to Rosiegirl93

    Dear Rosiegirl

    Welcome to the forum and my apologies for the long delay replying to you. It's not the usual way but does sometimes happen.

    My condolences on the loss of you mother. My mom died 20 years ago and I still miss her very much. Now and then I find myself saying, "Oh I must tell mom about ...". Then I remember and cry. My mom lived in the UK and her death was unexpected. I returned for her funeral but it was not the same as being able to say goodbye. I cried for months every night when I got home from work, and sometimes vanished into the toilets at work if I became too emotional.

    It's not easy to lose anyone we care about but moms are a special breed I believe. They are the people who nurtured us from baby to adult, rejoiced in our successes and consoled us in bad times. I'm sure we would all have a very long list of things we learned from mom.

    Grief is personal and takes a different form for everyone. I think you are saying you are finding it difficult to grieve and that you should be able to do so. Do I have that right? For me mom's death was shocking in its unexpectedness unlike my sister who died from cancer and who we knew was dying. I still find it hard to grieve for her but I did go to the UK to see her a few weeks before she passed away. How much difference that made I don't know.

    So a couple of suggestions that I have found useful or know others have found useful. Can you arrange a memorial service for your mom? Not necessarily in church, just a place where the family and friends can gather to remember her life. You could make this a function at your home, BBQ or afternoon tea. Get out the family photographs and talk to each other about the funny things that happened in your lives with mom. Talk about how there is is a mom shaped hole in your lives and how you can fill it in a positive way. In fact talk about anything and everything. Don't be afraid to show your emotions or tell others not to cry. Missing someone and crying for the loss is natural and also a tribute to the place they had in your life.

    I have written this quote several times but I find it valid. A friend was told after the death of her son, "You will never forget but the times between remembering will get longer". I have found this to be true. I will not forget mom and sometimes the memory is painful, but we can continue with our lives and often smile at the memory of the person we love.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Tatey
    Tatey avatar
    1 posts
    28 January 2020 in reply to Rosiegirl93

    Hello Rosie girl

    my mum also passed away unexpectedly in January 2019 ,

    after immagrating from the uk to be with her grandchildren in Sydney, she was only in Australia 6 weeks before she died so unexpectedly in hospital.

    i understand your pain , it’s like nothing else ,

    i was very close to my mum ,

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