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Topic: Lost my mum

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. RabbitsRule
    RabbitsRule avatar
    5 posts
    3 September 2019

    I'm in year 7 and yesterday I suddenly lost my mother due to a heart attack. It had been very sudden as she had been fine the day before.

    it is so hard to cope with, my mum was the only person I trusted and now she will never get to see me grow up and graduate school, we had so many plans made for life including an amazing road trip visiting one of the places she had always wanted to visit.

    i can't stand to think that she will never be back, she will never get to know her grandchildren. My children will never ever meet there grandma

    My mum, she was so beautiful, so kind and nice and was always there to greet me when I got home from school, she was so supportive in helping me in my first year of high school

    im crying here as I write this, it is heart breaking. I didnt think the first funeral I would ever go to would be my mums

  2. Summer Rose
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Summer Rose avatar
    193 posts
    3 September 2019 in reply to RabbitsRule

    Hi RabbitsRule

    I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mum. It sounds like she was an amazing woman, with a heart full of love for you.

    I very much want to reach out a hand of friendship and support in this time of need. I know you are gutted; I lost my dad to a sudden heart attack when I was 18, so I really do understand your shock and pain.

    Healing is going to take time. My best advice for right now is to take things moment by moment, day by day.

    It's ok to cry. It's ok to be angry at the unfairness. It's ok to be confused. But through it all be kind to yourself. No self-pressure or expectations, just do what you need to do to get through the coming days. Baby steps.

    Do you have family to support you? If so, lean on them. This is a time to hold them close.

    Kind thoughts to you

  3. Wazowski
    Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    Wazowski avatar
    14 posts
    4 September 2019 in reply to RabbitsRule
    Hi RabbitsRule,

    This is so devastating to hear. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing anyone is difficult, but when it is someone who raised you and they are gone so suddenly, it can feel unbearable.

    It sounds like your mum was a wonderful person who shared a beautiful relationship with you. Those memories are what you can hold on to as you deal with this next chapter in your life. I cannot tell you it will be easy, because it won’t be. You will be faced with many challenges and negative emotions. However, you have shown an incredible strength in reaching out to this community on Beyond Blue. I agree with Summer Rose, try to find people in your life that you can go to for support. You may not feel like you can trust anyone like you trusted your mother, but there may be other people who can provide some help for you in this difficult time.

    I wish you all the best for the coming days, as you prepare to attend your mother’s funeral, and for the time that follows that. Take as much time as you need to feel sad and grieve.

    A big hug.
  4. whitelilies
    whitelilies avatar
    2 posts
    5 September 2019 in reply to RabbitsRule

    HiRabbitsRule,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mum earlier this year and like you, she was my best friend, the only person I could chat to about everything and anything, anytime. I am 30 years old and she did not die suddenly, so I can imagine it is much tougher for you losing someone so important early in your life and very suddenly. I cannot say it will be easy, I am still struggling most of the days and it has been more than 5 months since she was gone. People were saying to me that while the sadness will not go away, but you will get used to it. Just like I do, I imagine you feel quite lonely at the time like this. I hope you are surrounded by family /friends who are kind to you. While it can't change the sadness that you lost your Mum, but it's better if you don't feel like you are alone.

  5. Summer Rose
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Summer Rose avatar
    193 posts
    6 September 2019 in reply to whitelilies

    Hi RabbitsRule

    Just reaching out to let you know I am thinking of you and sending you a big hug.

    Kind thoughts to you

  6. Philomena
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Philomena avatar
    19 posts
    9 October 2019 in reply to RabbitsRule

    Hi RabbitsRule

    i am so sorry to hear about your mum . Be strong my love and prayers are with you.

    Right now it’s hard for me to say, but no one can take away the pain of grief you need to feel and express the pain in order to start processing the loss.

    Talk to someone whom you can trust , whom you feel cares and you can comfortably share your pain with you.

    Someone who can listen patiently and with whom you can express your emotions .

    Try to accept the reality of the loss attend a memorial service in honour of your mum where friends and family gather. Work through the process of the grief you will feel sad, upset, angry, confused , lonely these are emotional sides of grief besides you may face physical reactions of grief too. Develop an enduring connection with your mum though she is not present in your heart and mind by sharing memories of her and biographies. Try to develop new skills and new relationships and new activities to keep your mind occupied.

    I am also available in case you need to msg me here for help.

    Stay strong.

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