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Topic: Reaching out to those who have lost their Mum

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Neeks92
    Neeks92 avatar
    1 posts
    21 June 2020

    Hi, I lost my beautiful Mother 2 months ago to Cancer.. she was only 56 and I 26.

    I have been in the grips of an emotional black hole since. I am heartbroken, lost and trying to find meaning in life to continue. The hardest thing is, the loss of connection and inability to connect to others who have been fortunate enough to not experience this pain. I am hoping to find others who have lost their mothers.

    I hope once we have found each other we can offer support, share stories and get through this together!

    1 person found this helpful
  2. quirkywords
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    quirkywords avatar
    7689 posts
    21 June 2020 in reply to Neeks92

    Meeks

    I extend my sympathy to you on the loss of your mother.

    My mum died 19 years ago an I miss her every day.

    It is hard and yiu are just starting on your journey of grief.
    cry as much as you like grieve in a way that suits you and be kind to yourself.

    we all grieve in different ways.
    thanks for starting this thread.
    quirky

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Soberlicious96
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
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    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Soberlicious96 avatar
    513 posts
    21 June 2020 in reply to Neeks92

    Dear Neeks,

    Welcome to Beyond Blue ..... but I must say, I am so sorry to read about what has brought you here; the loss of your Mum.

    I too lost my Mum, 8 years ago now, also to cancer. She was 69 years old and my best, best friend. And just lately, when I see certain ads or shows on TV, that make me think of my Mum, the tears can still flow, and my heart becomes heavy again. I miss her so very much.

    The one thing I do know though, is that no one and nothing can ever take the memory of her away from me. She is forever in my heart, and is a part of my soul.

    Two months isn't very long when it comes to losing someone so close to you. It's gonna take quite some time to learn to adjust to life without your Mum. Just remember to be gentle with yourself, and don't try to 'be brave' just because you think you 'should'. Grief hurts and is, in my opinion, the heaviest of all emotions, because with it comes every other heavy emotion; anger, sadness, confusion ..... all of it. It's all there and can feel all consuming. Just take it minute by minute.

    And remember, you can come back here as much as you like and need to. ((((hugs)))) Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Dockley
    Dockley avatar
    5 posts
    23 June 2020 in reply to Neeks92
    Hi Neeks, thanks for sharing this with us and I completely understand that feeling of not being able to connect with people right now. My mother died suddenly when I was 24 and I didn't even really appreciate how much it affected me until much later. I remember feeling that it was too much to talk about in a serious way and everyone seemed very surreal. Instead I tried to distract myself with work and pretending nothing had happened and kind of buried it. Which didn't work (what a surprise!). I think its really great that you're reaching out to people who have some sense of what you're going through. One of the hardest things I found was trying to have conversations with people who aren't really able to negotiate that kind of grief and its just awkward and you wish you hadn't said anything. So I hope you can keep chatting with us and ditto to the hugs comment from Soberlicious :)
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Dockley
    Dockley avatar
    5 posts
    27 June 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi quirky

    I'm interested to hear more about your experience and how/if its changed as time has gone on. Its been around 20 years for me and my perspective has certainly evolved over time. I mean, people talk about stages, and I see some of that in myself. But I also see that how I think about her and how I would want to relate to her (if she was still here) has changed too. I don't know if you feel that at all?

    D

  6. fred2018
    fred2018 avatar
    68 posts
    15 August 2020 in reply to Neeks92
    Hi Neeks92 and others here I lost my mum is 2017. It has been a tough transition since she was a big part of my life and a friend in hard times as much as a parent. I like to chat to her in my head as its a big thing to not have someone physically there that has been physically in your life for such a long period but I have found that chatting to her in my own way helps things along but yeah you will find what works for you. All the best

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