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Topic: To lose two dads in 5months, how does life every function again normally

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Into the Unknown
    Into the Unknown avatar
    2 posts
    3 September 2019

    I don’t know how to help or how to grieve. The father of my children passed away late last year we had been separated 10years but for the majority of our separated time we co-parented quiet well with 50/50 care arrangements & 98% of decisions made for the children we made together

    5 months later my own Dad passed away he had lived with my children and I for 11 years. Dad and I were close I supported him when we lost mum 12 years ago and done everything in my power to make his last years here as easy and as comfortable as I possibly could. My children aren’t coping with their grief one can’t find a job the other struggles to attend school each day, home just feels like a shattered mess where we just tolerate each other. My ex’s girlfriend is trying to obtain his super, and has all of his belongings. They lived together only 10months and she believes she’s has more right to these things then his actual children. (My kids were extremely super close to their dad). They are shattered hurt angry sad and missing their dad beyond belief. I don’t know how else to help them to get through these times. We all had our first Father’s Day without our dad’s this year and I made sure I was with them to get through the day but my own feelings of grief made it hard to be the supportive mum I needed to be.

    For me I’ve lost my hero the man that loved me unconditionally & supported me with all of my choices my dad but I also lost the man I went too for any decision regarding the children & for every milestone moment of their lives their dad

  2. insertaname
    insertaname avatar
    69 posts
    3 September 2019 in reply to Into the Unknown

    Into the unknown.

    i am sorry for your loss. You are quite brave to have written this to express how you are feeling. If I was me there would tear drops all over my keyboard.

    i am not sure how I can help you since my father passed away... there was no love lost there.

    i recommend that you keep your mental health as your main priority during this tough time. I did not and ended up in a psych ward for the first time. Although the children are finding the situation difficult I am sure they will overcome it if you can overcome!

    J

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Into the Unknown
    Into the Unknown avatar
    2 posts
    3 September 2019 in reply to insertaname

    Thank you J, I’ve tried to stay strong but I have lots of days where I feel so very lost not knowing what to do or how to do it, there’s been plenty of sleepless nights and lots of nights waking up stressing about what’s happening.....I have arranged some family counselling and the kids have individual psychology appointments, I will too once I get past the waiting time for an appointment.

    And please except my condolences of your fathers passing even if the circumstances weren’t always nice💐

  4. Didga707
    Didga707 avatar
    1 posts
    3 September 2019 in reply to Into the Unknown

    Into The Unkown

    I believe that this will be a really tough time for you and your family, what you have done with everything going on is simply amazing. The counselling is definitely a great idea, hopefully with this help you will be able reach out with your family more and understand one another. With the two losses it must've had a very big impact on your family and how they are. Even before the family counselling, try to reach out to your children. I'm sure that you have been doing it, but importantly you still have them and they still have you. I believe that you and your children will be able to overcome this tough time. The incidence that happened is so unfair and i'm sure it is very difficult and a lot of stress for you, however if you stay strong and support your children, you can be the pillar and make them a stronger adult. LETS GO TEAM!

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