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Topic: Unable to truly move on

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Abd
    Abd avatar
    2 posts
    3 January 2020
    Two years ago on the 30/11/2017 I received the call that my beautiful 25 year old daughter had died by suicide. I have three children and my daughter was my middle child. The life of the party, my biggest supporter and never a day went past that she didn’t tell me she loved me. I fought hard for justice for my child and was left to handle everything as my husband struggled to cope. As I fought for my child I also found out that my husband of 30 years was having an affair with a woman known to me. I overheard his drunken conversation to her as he was describing me as disgusting to look at and how wonderful she was. The next day I phoned him and he was with her on our new boat named after our daughter (they both laughed because she went on the boat before me). I spent over 8 hours that day begging him to come home. He agreed to counselling and trying to put our marriage back together. Nothing has changed, with him doing whatever he wants, relying heavily on alcohol and telling me to get over it. This is a man I loved. This is all too much and I struggle more and more to find reasons to go on. The woman I see in the mirror is disgusting. I went back to work, am studying and trying to like myself but I don’t know how much I can take. He refuses to sell the boat and when I go to my car it is the first thing I see. My other two children don’t want to talk about their sister and I continue to pretend I’m happy when I’m dying inside. My husband just things I’m a fool.
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    2075 posts
    4 January 2020 in reply to Abd

    Hi, welcome

    Please, let me offer you our condolences. My brother and uncle went the same way, my sister and I attempted many years ago.

    If I could offer one critical peice of wisdom it would be- that there is a life beyond your husband, if that is what you are sceptical of, if that is what you are afraid of andifthat is your preferred option.

    I don’t think you are as confident as you should be. “His boat” and “he refuses to sell it” tells me that he makes the ultimate decisions in your marriage. If you divorced he’d lose half his assets, then he might realise fun at your expense isn’t the way to go.

    Grief is personal. Take as long as you need. Very cruel of him to say “get over it”. Your other children will talk about their sister when they are ready. I took 10 years with my brother.

    Id like to ask you to read the first post of this thread

    google

    beyondblue topic the best praise you’ll ever get

    Beyondblue topic distraction and variety

    also google YouTube Prem Rawat Maharaji videos

    You deserve love and respect.

    BEAUTIFUL TO

    As your child waits for you

    there is still the other two

    coloured ribbons fill their hidden pain

    Memories still there of their daisy chains

    And one day you cradle her again

    until then you must refrain

    A space in your heart reserved for her

    You look inside it’s just a blurr

    But be there for them the other two

    The best mum in the world is beautiful too....

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Abd
    Abd avatar
    2 posts
    4 January 2020 in reply to white knight
    Thank you

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