😸No need for reasoned posts, especially when you can't focus your attention where you might prefer. I welcome your posts, no matter what you say, or how you say it, typos & all.
If I am a whippersnapper (a funny looking fish/eel thing?), then you are a Fogey, (not quite Bogey)!😺
I got to thinking about my Sis last night, eventually, while I was having another re-think about the idea I have had, that I would like to live totally independently of people, in an isolated place, away from everyone & everything.
It's a pipe dream, you know, up in smoke in moments. It is simply impossible.for me to do everything I would need to do to sustain my life without people doing things for me. I realise, I'm no gardener for a start. Hunting would be even more unlikely a way to feed myself.
There's a lot of people out there, from farmers to the delivery drivers dropping my groceries at my door. There's the people who keep these businesses operational as well.
& for my physical/psychological health, there are many people supporting me too, from building maintenance workers, to the people I actually interact with, such as the Doctors & Nurses at the hospital, & my own GP & PDr. ...
& the people providing the means by which I communicate, phone, internet, & the many places linked, like Centrelink, Medicare, NDIS, state housing, my bank, my other service providers, my helpers... so many people I never meet, doing what they do to keep the systems running (flawed they may be, but we have something better than nothing).
& so much more...
then I realised I hadn't thought to recognise my Sis, how her support is so valuable, how she has forgiven my long absence from her life, how she is so kind & willing to help me so much, to get certain legal matters settled. She has taken 1.5 hours to drive to pick me up so we could go get some papers signed, by someone she found online, & then another 1.5 back. In all, it was closer to 4.5 hours out of her day. She had sone this a few times now.
I'm so grateful to her, her kindness & generosity, her caring & warmth. It feels too much sometimes. I don't know if what I feel is 'love'. She says 'love you', & I'm not sure how to respond. She has wanted to hug me, & I am not sure I welcome that, even from her.
I'm sure I don't myself to feel so much for someone. It is a frightening thing to allow myself to be so emotionally vulnerable. Exposing my feelings, speaking them, has been so scary.
Like or not, I do need people, near & far.