Thanks for responding to my post. I find it hard to open up to people but here goes....
When I was 15 I was a victim of sexual assault. The police got involved and my entire year at school was on Mr Popular's side so I got bullied, beat up etc for a whole year at school before I left.
I didn't cope at all and was in intensive therapy after several attempts of my life.
I am now in my early 30s and over the last 15+ years I have continued to battle with Depression, anxiety and PTSD.
The last 12 months have been extremely hard. Work stress, bullying in the workplace, change of workplace all trigered my pent up emotions to show and I found I couldn't wear my mask convincingly. I got rediagnosed with all the above, a lot of friends bailed as I isolated myself from social situations, and my marriage suffered. Don't get me started on how my poor children have suffered too.
I saw a psych but struggled to really open up. I find that I just tell them what they want to hear rather than what's really happening inside my head.
I have now reached a point where it's easier for everyone if I put this mask back on and go about my day pretending I'm happy and 'ok'.
I struggle with sleep, I keep so busy during the day to stop my mind from wandering which leaves me both physically and emotionally exhausted, I live with co stand headaches.
I feel that I can't let my emotions show as no one around me understands me and I'm expected to work, be a mum and keep the house all clean...