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Topic: After 27 years of marriage she’s left and I’m gutted

  1. Dumbdom
    Dumbdom avatar
    12 posts
    28 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    Dear Em, Geoff & Mr Paul,

    Thanks for the advice, I will take your concerns and recommendations into account.

    There are no plans to divorce at this stage. My thinking there is that she probably gets what she wants and I’ve no plans to make things easier for her, however I will have it in the back of mind and will keep an eye out for unusual financial activities

    Geoff I’m very glad to hear that you haven’t had a drink since December, more power to you.

    Thank you one and all

    2 people found this helpful
  2. clownartist
    clownartist avatar
    75 posts
    29 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    Mr Paul,

    Great advice ,money changes everything unfortunately .I wish I had your advice years ago .I trusted the verbal agreement and was more than reasonable paying all the mortgage for five years, even the kids private school .When it came to settlement none of that was brought into account .It was a disaster ,get financial advice quickly and cease joint accounts especially credit cards immediately.Cruel to be kind .

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Mr Paul
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Mr Paul avatar
    381 posts
    30 October 2020 in reply to clownartist

    Hi Clownartist and Dom

    Separation (divorce) is bad enough, but property settlement brings its own set of challenges; especially when one spouse has an over inflated sense of entitlement.

    My ex, thought that she would do better at property settlement if she could fabricate a case of domestic violence. This lead to expensive litigation where she eventually withdrew the allegations, and walked away as if nothing had happened.

    The disturbing thing about my experience was that my ex's bad behavior had no consequences. I now know that Family law has nothing to do with fair.


    3 people found this helpful
  4. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    15 November 2020 in reply to geoff
    I am new & could not find where to post.After 40years of marriage my husband did not come home3 days ago.It was getting late & I messaged him asking what time he would be home,after several minutes he sent message ending the marriage & said please don't call as he was turning phone off.I was in shock called out to daughter & showed her message.He also said he paid major bills for 12months & quit his job.Kids&grandchild all called & messaged with no answer.Next day he called them briefly saying he OK .Called again & told them that he could not be found as he will never speak or see me again.I am a mess.I am not eating or sleeping the pain is so intense.He left clothes watches etc here as he told them he wants a clean break with no one ever knowing where he his.I am devastated he was my world please I need a friend so scared& lonely
  5. Sophie_M
    Sophie_M avatar
    3685 posts
    15 November 2020 in reply to zani
    Hi Zani,

    Welcome to our forums. Thank you for posting and sharing your experience. We are so sorry to hear you are in such intense pain at the moment. It is devastating for a loved one to leave abruptly without providing an explanation. It must be very difficult for you to comprehend what is happening in your life. We are so glad you have come here as this is a safe, non-judgmental space where other community members can provide support and insight.

    To get the best possible support from our wonderful community, we invite you to start your own thread. You can learn about how to start a new thread here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/the-forum-faq-thread-

    We also encourage you to contact our Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. Talking to a friendly, caring counselor can help you process these difficult feelings and thoughts you are experiencing and help alleviate pain and stress. 
    1 person found this helpful
  6. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    15 November 2020 in reply to Sophie_M

    thank you

  7. zani
    zani avatar
    11 posts
    15 November 2020 in reply to zani
    I am so alone & gutted.How do I go on knowing that I will never see him again.Idon't work so no income.I am so scared & alone. am not coping feeling sick anxious exhausted
  8. Mr Paul
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Mr Paul avatar
    381 posts
    15 November 2020 in reply to zani

    Hi Zarni

    Please do repost. You can start your new thread on the, "Online Forums - Relationship and family issues" page. You will find a "New Thread" button near the top right of the page.

    Hope to hear from you soon!


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