I'm including a trigger warning for sexual assault. Please don't read this if it will harm your mental well-being.
Hi everyone, I'm new here. I'm 24 and my son (K) is 6 and has level 2 ASD. I fell pregnant at 16 to my son's then 18 year old father (T). K was born when I was 17. I do not know if K was conceived consensually, T was sexually abusive towards me during our short relationship. T and I separated during my pregnancy and when K was 8 weeks old I asked T to choose between being in K's life and continuing to abuse drugs. We didn't see him for 5 years. I was diagnosed with PTSD.
When K was 5, I separated from my partner. Shortly after, T contacted me saying he wanted to be a part of K's life. For the first few months, it was good. They began to build a relationship. Then my partner and I reconciled. T disappeared again.
After a few months he said wanted to see K again, but he was combatative with me when making plans and he was cancelling visits at the last minute so often that I stopped telling K when he was coming, so he wouldn't be disappointed.
This became a huge argument when I called him out for being inconsistent, and that K had told me that when he's at T's house he plays Xbox all day and all night. They don't go out, do anything else, or even play it together. K is only supposed to have limited screen time as his ASD gets him sucked into games to the point you'd forget he was there. During the argument, he, not I, brought up the sexual abuse. He was telling me to take him to court, he said "Tell them I r****d you for all I care. I won't even deny it."
All the progress I thought I made in healing unraveled. I didn't think anybody would believe me, but he'd just confessed. My anxiety and intrusive memories have been awful, and I can't be intimate with my partner without crying. K has not seen T since then. T wants to see K. K has not asked about T. I have no idea what to do.
I don't want to expose an autistic 6 year old to someone I know committed a sex crime. I can no longer repress what happened to me. I can't bear to think about T, but K is more important to me than anything, I don't know if it's better for him to have his father, or if T's inconsistency and putting him in front of a screen and not interacting with him whenever he's there is worth it.
T has made it clear he will not go to court, so legal advice is not necessary, I just want to do the best for K.