I have been involved in a relationship for a year, with my first boyfriend from high school, many light years ago.
I recently purchased a house and my partner and his young adult child have moved in with me. Have been here 5 months.
Today was the 3rd time I have been disrespected in a nasty verbal way by my partner. Each time he has been drinking.
On the 1st occasion, I told him to never speak to me again in the same manner as I would not accept such a relationship.
On the 2nd occasion, I told him it was his final warning and any reoccurance would be the end of our relationship.
3rd time.... after spending some time composing myself, I asked him how many drinks he had had today. He refused to answer, was defensive and stormed off. I could clearly count in the fridge what had been drunk, and it was significant, again.
I don't know what to do. I don't want this type of relationship and have been upfront about this. His previous relationship was like this throughout. My last relationship turned violent due to my ex's drinking.
I told him to sleep in the spare room. Any drinks he has affects my sleeping anyway (snoring) and I end up moving to the couch.
He has left the house and gone to his daughters nearby, who is having a birthday party with friends. What better way to continue the night 🤷♀️ I only found out he had left the house by his daughter letting me know he was there.
What do I do??? I don't want to go down the same path as previous. I thought he really understood. I feel so let down by someone who claims to love me. Do I follow through?
Do I take a break and have him stay in the spare room until I can think clearly? I don't want apologies, I just need space to think.
His young adult child lives here. Was expected to be here for a few years. What's happens in this scenario? Kick partner out and let his child remain?
I am so wound up, anxious, disappointed, angry, let-down....
To top it off, the house is a pig sty. I'm constantly picking up after the "boys" and any conversations about cleaning, etc seem to go nowhere.
Thinking I should just sell the house and move away. I bought near his old house (where daughter is) and for his and son's work location. I don't know anyone where I am and am thinking I've made a huge mistake.