Hi Lucy, welcome
Sorry to hear about this. I've had four relationship over 7 years in length each, two marriages.
After 12 months separation one party can apply for a divorce. Papers are exchanged, a fee paid and its simply a paper process. With kids it is far more complex.
Being still in love with him poses many hurdles for you. Lets see if we can help you face them.
My own experiences tell me that love can only be replaced with love, to find another partner or at least enjoy the company of other men with dating or chats. It doesnt have to go further but it might, when you are ready.
The reason I promote this is because emotional attachment doesnt mean realistic bonding especially if the other party isnt interested. Its more a ongoing torture process.
So, there are processes you can take to recover your old self and boost your self esteem. After 11 years of my first wife emotionally abusing me, I resorted (after separation)to daily staring in the mirror for five minutes telling myself I'm a good man that deserves happiness.
Another thing was to cram into my life- activities. I built my own home and worked 72 hours a week.. it worked. Set goals and seek achieving them. Sports, hobbies etc. Whatever it takes to sway your mind away from focussing on a hope that the marriage will return.
Sometimes we cant get our head around an unworkable relationship because we have the devotion and the hopes. But the fact is, it takes two.
I always promote here for those wanting to sever ties with another, to do it face to face. Nowadays running when you're at work or texting/messaging is deplorable ways to treat anyone. You deserve better.
Find a better guy. One that shares your values and sees you as his princess.
Maybe then, you'll feel loved much more and put the past to rest, where it should be.
I wish you well. Post anytime or reply. Up to you.