Firstly, I want to check in first with how you're feeling and doing. I noticed you mentioned you were feeling suicidal. If you're comfortable, can you share with me what's on your mind? Remember, if you need immediate care there are plenty of resources available such as the lifeline call centre. Feel free to also communicate with the beyond blue members here for support.
It seems as though your mother enjoys the victim mentality. This could perhaps be attributed to the inability to take accountability or carry emotional responsibility. I understand this can be frustrating for you at times as well as it is important that you receive comfort and support from your family.
I'm sorry about your current situation, it must be difficult having to move back to an environment that brings up old memories of abuse. I think your mother is only able to see what she is open to, if she is not willing to see herself as not being a victim, what you say may not change her perspective.
However, I do believe it will have an impact if you voice to her how difficult it has been for you as well and your need for support. I think this will open her mind to the fact there are many others experiencing hardship and she is not the only victim to the adversities of life. That is a method of telling her she is not the victim.
To stop this, it's best to draw clear boundaries of what is acceptable to you and what is not. For example, if you she knows you are always available and willing to provide her emotional support even in situations where your needs are being overlooked, she will continue to do this freely in the future as she feels you are okay with that.
Hope this helps.