Sorry to read that you're struggling with things at the moment. I feel like it's sometimes hard to maintain friendships when we've got our own issues going on. I want to go see a friend at the moment. But I'm not mentally well and I don't want her to feel I'm just leaning on her with my problems. And so I wait. Hard, isn't it?
As for your current relationship, it sounds like there's a lot going on there. It doesn't sound like it's a very healthy relationship, would that be correct? And is there a child involved? It might be taking a toll on them also.
Perhaps it's time to consider your partner's actions, and not their words. Because when they don't match up, there's a problem. This was the case in my last relationship and when my psychologist pointed it out, it made sense.
Take care, Katy