My fiance of 10 months left me this week. Our story is unique & painful. My mental illness (recently diagnosed) caused this situation.
– We met 7 years ago, based on a lie. That lie lasted around 1 year, when the truth eventually came out. It broke us, but we never separated. We pushed ahead and tried to move on. We never sought professional help (probably a mistake on both parts). That lie encompassed all she knew about me in those early days; we never cleared the air properly.
– During arguments, I would get angry, call her names/insult her, saying things I did NOT mean. We both now realise this is part of my illness. In the past 12 months, whilst we still fought, it wasn't as bad.
– I proposed to her 10 months ago, it was the best day of our lives, she said yes.
– 7 Weeks ago she suggested I seek mental health; I did. This was the first time it was brought up/taken action. I've been diagnosed with OCTB + PD, one core symptom being that I lie when I'm anxious, stemming from trauma. The root causes are being identified, I have meds + therapy weekly now. I'm on a positive path to making a full recovery, I feel like I have solutions to my illness; the most in control I've ever felt.
– We share a 2 year old dog, who we both love (our 'kid').
– She said she needs to work on herself, that she does not see us together anymore, but still wants to be friends. She said she still loves me, but to what extent I don't know.
– She agreed to couples therapy with me in 3 days, but I have no idea how she will go or if she will stay committed. I'm 100% committed, I'll talk openly, I accept responsibility & I'm already on a positive path. She told me she thinks therapy wont work.
– My birthday is this week (30) & she is still coming to my party (which she organised). Her birthday is in Sept (26).
– We were supposed to get married in 2021. She already has her dress/shoes. We even have a deposit on the venue.
– She likes my family, they have a good relationship. Not super close, but ‘good enough’.
I love her. She is the love of my life. I never stopped loving her, even though I let her down. She moved out this week; I told her I will support her. She knows I love her and I'm sorry. I can't repeat that again. She said I've given her the best and worst memories of her life. I know I broke her trust. My therapist says that I have every chance to make a full recovery & be a totally different person. Is there a chance for us through therapy?