A bit about myself, I’m a 34 y.o male with a long history of anxiety and depression which I’m on medication for. I’m a sensitive guy who tried hard not to take things too seriously but occasionally it happens and I get defensive, this is something I’ve tried hard to improve but it has been the single hardest thing to do compared to other areas.
Ive been seeing a girl who I work with for about 3 months now. Nobody at work knows about us. I think early on I knew it we liked each other and there was chemistry but there was something missing. At 34 I am mindful that I am running out of time to meet my life partner and start a family, I wanted to give it a decent shot but we decided to pull the pin and remain friends. Something I’ve never been too keen on but I figured it would still be nice to hang out because I don’t meet girls often and do nice things like going out to nice places. Plus I figured things could possibly change.
On New Year’s Day we ended up having an argument over paying a bill and I ended up realising I’d made a mistake. Regardless of that she has not texted me back. I ended up slipping the money I owed under her door, still no texts to say she even got it. It’s been nearly two weeks now, this is totally out of character for her as she would usually have been in contact after something like this.
We go back to work on Monday, it is going to be really awkward. I feel like she might try to tell everyone bad stuff about me and just shut me off etc. I am really overthinking this a lot now and feeling so helpless. I was in a good place in December, I’d been doing regular yoga and I found this had really centred my mind, unfortunately I have injured my back so I can’t even do this now.
I’m sorry for the long post. I don’t know what to do, it’s Saturday night and I’m scared of Monday. I’m getting all the depressed and anxious feelings, I feel like I’m back in the worst periods of my life which I thought I was past. I don’t know what to do.