Hello Rodman, I feel for you as you're put in a difficult situation, one that I know all about.
A warm welcome to the forums and thank you so much for posting your comment and Iknow that it's not that easy to decide to open up to people you don't even know, but then again, that may make it a bit easier.
Admitting to yourself that you're an alcoholic is a brave decision, but don't forget those who attend AA and haven't had a drink for 25 years still call themselves an alcoholic, something people may agree on, but I don't.
To use it as a coping mechanism was how I used it as well and it was the grog or her, I lost as she divorced me, so I appreciate how you are feeling.
I'm sorry because my ex didn't understand why I was still depressed after having counselling for so long, but a controlling partner is someone who berates everyone or constantly makes overt threats or ultimatums and in doing so, only makes the situation worse.
Don't feel guilty for not being able to answer her, how can you, and you can't say what she wants to hear because is she going to believe you, my ex didn't and it's just that she didn't understand the circumstances.
It's disappointing that people may use a whole list of ways to dominate their partners and although they may not want to, but they strip you of your support network, and thus your strength so that you will be less likely or able to stand up against them whenever want to, unfortunately, that happened to me, although deep down I loved her so much.
To be sober for 3 weeks is such an enormous task, and I really to hear back from you, there's much more I'd like to talk about.