sorry to hear you are so overwhelmed with everything and boy does it make matters worse when your husband isn’t there for you . I know ..it’s that brick wall ... you talk you scream but he does absolutely nothing . I have been there unfortunately but I have since left as he had an affair and the mistress came harassing me .. lol
but this isn’t about me ...it’s about you . I would suggest you look up Abraham Hicks vortex meditation . And Jason Stephenson meditation videos ...just look it up on YouTube
these videos will teach you to meditate and give you some headspace to clear your head so to speak . You say you put everyone else ahead of you and I also did that ...but now it’s time you show yourself the love and care first .
I remember also being overwhelmed a few years ago and I wasn’t coping at all. Until I learnt to put myself first and take time out when I need to .
it’s about an hour or even less a day to meditate and trust me you will feel heaps better .
aNd then once head is clear ..you possibly figure why your husband is the way he is ...an affair ? Or whatever the case is . Consider your options or talk to him to incorporate new things where he contributes as well . You can always incorporate change and if he loves and respects you he come to the table .or not ...but you have and know your options .
good luck and keep posting ...check out those videos too ..trust me you thank me later .