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Topic: I feel like I'm losing my mind from my breakup

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Reivaxe
    Reivaxe avatar
    1 posts
    21 July 2020
    Over a year ago me (18M) and my gf (19F) broke up as her choice, after it was evident for some time she was into another guy but I was told I was overthinking and reacting when I brought it up. A week later they started dating. From then until now we became friends with benefits for a bit which I stupidly thought was something more and then was hurt more and more with her dating some of my now uni friends (same uni degree and very small campus). Currently I have been through what it feels like is the same conversation with many people about how I should just move on and lose the connection to her, however I'm finding it impossible to forget about her or at least just see her as just another person whenever I run into or see her which is usually daily. Everything that happens in her dating life is constantly making my mind race non-stop about all the possibilities of what's happening and it feels awful, I feel so stupid for being so invested still even after all this time. I have tried no-contact, trying to only see the bad in her, talking to a counsellor, and just trying to move on but all with no avail. I guess I'm just asking for help from anyone who knows how I can move past her, I'm not the type to bounce from relationship to relationship, I feel really guilty still being cut up about her and talking to someone else who I could be interested in. And there is no possibility for the next 2 years of me not seeing her on a practically daily basis.
  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    13229 posts
    22 July 2020 in reply to Reivaxe

    Hello Reivaxe, thanks for your thread on the situation you are struggling with and undoubtedly, I'm sure this would be a very problem.

    She was the one that decided to break up with you which must have been devastating, but it appears as though she doesn't want to settle down in any relationship at the moment, that doesn't mean she won't decide to come back to you.

    We go through life from school, uni, work or group of friends who we associate with, that there is always a person we have a particular liking/crush with, but we can't have them, simply because they're going out with someone else, so what do we do, and it's happened to me so I know how you are feeling, is not to think of what might be happening, because we don't know and can't assume, that only presides over something that might not be going on, and is a word I don't like to use.

    If you know what are her favourite past times, lollies and sayings, then use these to entice her back, doing these are very powerful to get her to notice you.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

  3. sisu100
    Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    sisu100 avatar
    65 posts
    22 July 2020 in reply to Reivaxe

    Hi Reivaxe,

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and I'm so glad that you have reached out here.

    I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. Guilt and sadness is a natural response when you have to see someone you've built such a strong and emotional connection with, moving on when you haven't quite done so yourself. I can see that you've tried many methods to try and move past her, and I can imagine it'd be quite frustrating when nothing feels like it's working. It certainly makes it more challenging when you have to seeing her on a daily basis at uni.

    Going through a break up is undoubtedly tough and might take some time, so it is important to remember to look after ourselves as well and do things you enjoy. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you enjoy? It may be useful as a distraction to channel your energy into something else, what do you think?

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