Hi there Sparkly
I am 28. I have never been in any relationship so I guess my experience was completely opposite to yours. However there is a tone I can appreciate within what you've said.
The tone I speak of is when you talk of looking back on your 20s and wondering what you've missed out on or similar to this - about being undercertain about what and who you are.
I am now of the view (After several years) that maybe this is EXACTLY what the 20s are about. The 20s are about digesting the things we went through in our teen years.
They are about trying things. I guess yes, your experience in your 20s is very different in formation but it is coming from the same place - trying to navigate this thing called life.
Personally, I don't believe that it is the end. For either of us or indeed anyone who goes through their 20s. Perhaps in many ways, the 20s are a bit like the teen years - filled with uncertainty, where things could go wrong. But you give things a go in the hope that you find a way through.
We are where we are now because maybe that's just how life has happened. I don't believe it's right or wrong.
Who can say at this age that they know who they are? I think anyone who says this is lying to themselves OR maybe have just been fortunate enough to find that out. One of the beauties of life is that we are all so different. We go on a different course or path to everyone else.
I see where you come from re: socialising. I have noticed that since lockdown I have not been able to see or speak to some people I considered friends. Maybe it was time for those friendships to end.
I feel alone too for what it's worth. I think many are probably feeling it. just today i spoke to an friend from high school about it. Perhaps its the time of the year. The crazy world we now inhabit. I found out that people were asking after me on the other side of the world - people i had only met once through a friend in another country.
I am not religious anymore but I do believe that at some level we are all connected through our experience of this thing called "life" and that has made me realise that perhaps, just perhaps, we aren't really alone. BUT yes, we are lonely and we feel it.
My approach now is to seek to make every interaction you have with another person the most genuine it can be. Don't go for the low hanging fruit. Seek to extend the connection we all have at a base level as conscious beings of the homosapien species.
I do hope some of this has helped.